Nothing makes me happier than going to my mailbox and receiving a free panty coupon from Victoria's Secret....although George Bush's economic stimulus payment is looking pretty sweet right about now. Thanks for the $600 smackers Dubya, but I still don't forgive you for the past eight years.
Back to panties. I love panties, and I love getting them for free. My beloved free panty coupons come along ever couple of months or so, one of the perks of being an Angel Card member. That and the big pair of wings they send me every year...
But sadly, my free panty offer isn't as heavenly as their Dream Angels eau de parfum. They entice me with their catalogs and very sexy store displays featuring the creme of the panty crop...the starlet panty, cheeky hiphuggers, eyelet bloomers, side-tie thongs...Then I whip out my coupon with the excitement of a toddler in a Build-a-Bear Workshop, only to read the 3 point font explaining my free panty is limited to the VS Cotton. The VS Cotton is the vanilla of panties people, two bikini strings away from being grandma panties. Not even a print can save the day, you have to choose between black, white, whisper pink, ivory, or nude.
Oh well. I guess panty beggars can't be choosers.
*Keepin' it real.