We interrupt this blog to bring you an important trend alert. You shouldn't panic, nor should you rest easy. This is an orange alert. Stay where you are as we continue to bring you up-to-date information on whether this trend poses an imminent threat to the homeland.
Reportedly seen on twenty/thirty something girls everywhere, insiders report that it is now cool to tie ribbons around your head like a Pochahontas flower power love child.
The Hair band Security Advisory System urges us to continue to be vigilant, take notice of our surroundings, and report suspicious hair band activity to local authorities immediately. Establish an emergency preparedness kit and emergency plan for yourself and for your family should you find yourself or a loved one contemplating tying one on, succumbing to the madness.
Do not fret. I repeat, do not fret. We shall get through this together, as fashion conscious Americans. Let us crown thy good with brotherhood (instead of hair bands) from sea to shining sea. If we survived bell bottoms, shoulder pads, and Lara Flynn Boyle's fashion faux pas...we can get through anything.
*Keepin' you orange alerted,