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July 2008 Archives

Slim Shady Fendi.

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I saw a teenage girl toting around a fake Fendi the other day. How do I know it was a fake Fendi? She stuck a wad of grape gum on it to save for later. Not even a child would pull that crap with a real Fendi.

This is just the type of treasure Jennifer Hudson's character Louise from the new Sex and the City movie would Bag Borrow or Steal. And if you remember your Sex and the City trivia, Samantha was kicked out of the Playboy mansion by Hef for getting her fake Fendi confused with a playmate's real Fendi. (Little did it matter that the playmate's boobs were even faker than Samatha's knockoff).

Would the real designer Fendi please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?

This Fendi from Forzieri is all real for $1,170.

Hello lover.

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Fendis make the world go round.

Vote tote.

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Motherly advice to swear by.

Eat your vegetables.

Always wear clean underwear.

If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

Face it. Your mother is always right.

Rock the vote and get yourself a cool vote tote from Forever 21 for only $10.90. It's made with vegetable fiber so it's another eco-friendly treasure, and it features a retro graphic print design and word from yo momma.

Fill it with Obama or McCain paraphernalia, then tote it all with you when you head to the voting booths. You'll be a total rock star. It is a demrockcracy after all.

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Boy trouble.

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Yo,

I know this is a chick blog, but do you take questions from dudes? I'm going on vacation with my girlfriend and I don't know what to bring besides jeans and my bathing suit. Help a brother out.

B

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Check it B.

Being a dude doesn't mean you can't be a stylish dude (and a straight stylish dude at that). You guys have it much easier than us girls. Listen to Caprilee, and dressing up will be as easy as 1-2-3.

1. For summer, take a risk and ditch those vanilla flavored polos for one that has all the fixings. There are plenty of summer themed polos out there that will make you stand out from the crowd, but not in a bad way. 2. Designer shades, always make a guy look hotter, and 3. Some sleek cargo shorts are thin enough to keep you cool and sport plenty of pockets to store those spare room keys.

Shirt. Shades. Shorts.

Dunzo.

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I rarely do this, but since it is a National holiday, I thought I'd share my 4th of July outfit with you.

When worn together normally, red, white and blue can be considered a bit much...but it's America's birthday, so bring on the stars and stripes forever!

Start off by pinning a cool Patriotic pin on your tote to show off all that Bruce Springsteen Born in the USA pride. I chose this pin in particular because the little guy reminds me of Sam the Eagle from the Muppets.

Next, slip on some cool UV ray specs. These shades are so All-American Beach Blanket Bingo, I can't stand it. Just pass the potato salad and call me Gidget.

Stars and striped bathing suits are so cliché , so I'm going with skulls and stripes. This skull and crossbone halter and matching bikini bottom from Alloy aren't only mix and matchable, but they put a new twist on July 4th fashion, and remind us to follow proper firework safety precautions.

*I kid you not, I knew a kid who lost an eye setting off Bottle rockets. It smarts every time he sings the national anthem...Oh say he cannot see, by the dawn's early light.

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Someone get me a sparkler.

The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize...

I didn't make that up. It's a line from Steel Magnolias. So sue me.

Rachel shows just how easy it is to add a little sumpin' sumpin' to a plain dark tiered mini with just the right accessories. A cool pair of oversized summer shades, a granny chic bag, and a pom pom keychain never hurt anybody. Of course, this accessory would smarten up any outfit. I love you Leo.


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After a decade or so of trying, I'm proud to report that Oscar winning actress and fashion goddess Nicole Kidman gave birth Sunday to a beautiful baby girl named Sunday Rose. I can make many jokes here. In fact, it is physically hurting me not to. But out of respect for Nicole and her Aussie hubby Keith Urban, I shall refrain from making any inappropriate baby name funnies.

I will however, comment that I hope this new crop of celebrity baby girls i.e. Sunday, Harlow, Violet, Shiloh, Apple and Suri don't succumb to the ever present Hollywood pressure to be thin. It must be surreal having mommies that star on the big screen and grace the covers of magazine after magazine. The obsession with perfection might easily rub off on any or all of these posh tots, and they have enough to deal with...with those messed up names alone.

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If Nicole puts Sunday Rose in this Does my Butt Look Big in this Diaper onesie, will it be the first seed in generating a negative body image? Although, technically, her butt would look big if she's wearing this hip Urban Diaper cover. It may look bulky, but it'll keep the baby from leaking in a trendy way when Nicole's cleaning poop six ways to Sunday....Talk about SunDays of Thunder.

Sorry, I couldn't help it.


Grungefest.

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I usually steer away from Mary-Kate Olsen when it comes to fashion trends, since she can tend to be a little...how shall I put this...Off the mark? This time, I'm proud to report that MK has it right for once. Grunge is back whether we like it or not, so dust off your old Pearl Jam concert tees, Doc Martens, and grab some flannels.

It's not hard to achieve MK's look from head to toe. Start by throwing on a form fitting western themed plaid shirt. Don't be afraid to choose one with a slight feminine touch like this Evelyn shirt with a girlie ruffled front. Grunge 101: Grungy girls can still be pretty girls. Just don't button it all the way to the top. Then you run the risk of going from grunge to geek.

Next, nothing says grunge like some Sharpie stained nails. Slick on some dark urban nail polish until your digits resemble oil slicks, and your grunge transformation is almost complete.

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When it comes to bottoms, skinny jeans, dark leggings or dark tights will do just fine, and they'll look gas station attendant hot shoved into a pair of Steve Madden Black Ankle booties, a definite fashion upgrade from your old battered Docs and Converse.

I like where you're headed MK. Not a 10 on the chic scale, but not a 1 either. Maybe in the upcoming year you'll finally end up on someone's best dressed list.

By the way, did mumus ever really catch on?

Life's a beach.

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Dear Caprilee,

HELP!!

I have an all day and night beach date this weekend! We're spending the day on the beach and then having drinks and dinner on the Boardwalk. What can i wear with my bikini to get me from point A to point B?! I'M DESPERATE!

Nell

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Whoa Nelly,

First- you must chill. Let me make this more than easy for you with a look that will surely take you from sand to surf and turf with no effort whatsoever. Plus, these three magic items will take up less space in your beach bag than your Time Flies When You're Having Rum beach towel.

Light breathable sundress + small classy clutch + faux snakeskin sandals = hot beach chick.

Now have a good time and relax. If you act this desperate on your date, he just won't be that into you.

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Invested.

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It's a new season, and there are certain clothing investments we must make. A good investment is one that will take us through the current season, creating a plethora of different, versatile looks. An even better investment is one that gets us through this season and next season with just a tiny bit of flair and creativity.

There are a few pieces I'll be investing in without question this season that I'm willing to share. Why? Because I like you. First on my list- cool jewelry. Something that makes a good conversation piece, like this Rectangular pendant from Forever 21. It's cool enough to wear for a night out on the town, or to dress up a neutral tube top during the day. I'm all for cheap bling.

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Forever 21 offers another fine investment that you'll find in stores everywhere this summer, in the form of a racerback Denim Vest. I love vests. They give a sleek menswear vibe to any outfit, plus they let you get away with a no bra day. Layer your vests with tanks and sundresses during the summer, then over a turtleneck or form fitting hoodie next fall and winter. You can't lose, especially with the Forever 21 price tag.

Finally, you can't ever go wrong with an unexpected burst of color. This hot mustard Clutch from, you guessed it -Forever 21, is big enough to hold all the essentials- id, cell, lip gloss...bail.

Invest wisely, and you'll be earning dividends left and right.

You'll be more money than Eddie Money.

Marilyn envy.

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Marilyn Monroe.

No one can hold a candle in the wind to her, but that hasn't stopped many a young Hollywood starlet from trying. It seems like Marilyn inspired photo spreads are popping up more and more these days. It can be traced back to Anna Nicole Smith and her celebrated Guess ads, and now a new crop of youthful A-list actresses are quickly following suit.

Heroes star Hayden Panettiere pictured below is looking very "Happy Birthday Mr. President" in her pictorial while Lindsay Lohan made waves this year recreating the last nude photo shoot of Marilyn for the New Yorker. Nicole Kidman captured the Seven Year Itch star's likeness for Harper's Bazaar and lest we forget the Material Girl Madonna circa 1985. Even the recent Madonna A-Rod scandal evokes memories of Marilyn Monroe's love affair with baseball hero Joe DiMaggio. Coincidence? Hmmm...

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Seems like everyone wants a little taste of what the immortal blond bombshell had to offer and if you're like some, you like it hot too... so enough with the commentary, onto the clothes.

Forget diamonds, flattering swimsuits are a girl's best friend, so try on a Marilyn inspired retro swimsuit this summer. You'll be looking pretty va-va-va-voom in this cute checkered one-piece from Delias that looks trés vintage, plus it's on sale for only $34.50. Then you can rival Lindsay, Hayden, Nicole, Madonna and Marilyn.

Boop oop a doop.

Go ride a bike.

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Everyone loves a bike ride. Show me someone who doesn't, and I'll show you someone who never had their training wheels taken off. You know who you are.

Whether it's for exercise, leisure or to escape the school bully, bike rides evoke feelings of childhood innocence and reckless abandon. Even celebrities are enjoying their summer hiatus bike riding. Former Buffy star Sarah Michelle Gellar has been seen riding around town transporting veggies and has quickly become nicknamed Sarah Michelle Peddler. I'll be here all week.

Nevertheless, just seeing someone on a bike makes me smile, even if they have a Chinese crested dog riding in the front basket. It brings me back to days of skinned knees, pigtails and hot pink handlebar streamers blowing in the wind. In honor of bicycles and the happiness they bestow upon the world, I've compiled a few pieces when worn, are the next best thing to hopping on a ten speed.

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You can't ride around on a bike with a Balenciaga bag. That just wouldn't be prudent. So carry around your essentials in this cute Volcom Pedal to the Medal Bike Tote. Just don't put your Chinese crested dog in there. This bag is too adorable to be ruined by a doodie.

I couldn't choose between these two lovely vintage graphic tees, so I'm giving props to both. This sweet Bicycle Tee from Karass features a little munchkin alongside one of the first bikes ever. What's even cooler is the history of the bicycle is printed on the inside tag. Neat-oh. My second choice is a Puff Sleeve Tee dream in yellow with two vintage looking folks on yet another wacky bike. It's hand screened, which makes it extra special. If you're a big fan of unique fashion gems handmade with love, check out this Migration Summer Bicycle necklace it's totally off the chain.

So go pick up some bicycle themed rags and accessories, and you'll feel the wind blowing through your hair in no time.

It's just like riding a bike.

Sienna busted.

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It seems one of my favorite British fashion imports, actress and this month's Elle UK cover girl Sienna Miller has been caught with her top down smooching married Brothers and Sisters star Balthazar Getty. Not only is the all grown up Lord of the Flies star married, but he's got four, yep, 1-2-3-4 kids. Now she might as well be known as Burnt Sienna, and I'm not talking about the sunburn she got while canoodling on a boat in Italy.

I don't get it. Hey celebrities- news fa-lash, haven't you caught on by now, just like the rhythm is gonna get you, the paparazzi is gonna get you. Whether you're shopping on Melrose Avenue in La La Land or sailing on a luxury yacht on the Mediterranean. Face it, whether you're indoors or out, your "private moment" will eventually be caught up in a whirlwind of sex, lies and videotape...lest we forget poor Gwyneth and Brad Pitt?

A word of advice Burnt Sienna- 1- Stay away from married men. Just because Jude Law cheated on you doesn't mean you need to take it out on other innocent chicks. 2- Put on a bikini top like this cute one from Alloy. I don't need to see your tatas, no matter how perky they are...neither does Balthazar's wife and four kids.

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Project Runway is back.

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Bravo's Emmy nominated series Project Runway is back for another season with another crop of 16 budding designers hungry to be "in", at least in Heidi Klum, Tim Gunn, Michael Kors, and Nina Garcia's eyes. I was more excited than a seamstress in a fabric store to revel in another fierce season of cutting, draping, and stitching to the finish...but after last night's episode, my evaluation is just...well, sew-sew.

The first challenge brought the designers full circle as they tackled the first challenge ever on Project Runway season one, the grocery store showdown. To add to the nostalgia, Tim Gunn was joined by season one contestant- an airbrushed Austin Scarlett who won the challenge way back when with a corn husk concoction that ultimately launched his career. It was nice to see an old familiar face, albeit one plastered in makeup. He looked like a cross between Clark Gable and a young Joan Rivers.

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Innovation was the name of the game. Most went the tablecloth route, others went the unexpected material route, few went the edible route. My favorites? A meringue cookie and candy dress that I dreamed of wearing during my days of playing Candyland. To sum up the fusilli pasta/oven mitt Italian themed dress? Two words - que bella. The tiered paper towel lipstick design was adorably kissable, and the yellow flyswatter dress was bugged out ingenious. Lowest marks, I agree with the judges- pink scully cap boy Blayne's Girlicious design was more like Pukelicious, even a six year old girl at her tap recital couldn't pull it off. Ultimately, it came down to Trashy vs. Psycho. I knew Trash bag girl wasn't going anywhere because in reality television, whoever declares "I'm going home", never goes home. It was Psycho shower curtain/yellow rubber glove dude who heard Heidi's fateful "Auf wiedersehen" and left with his model...no doubt to go unclog a toilet somewhere. If you missed the show, check out all the designs and rate your own favorites here (and if you thought the shower curtain ensemble was the bomb, I dare you to wear it outside...when it's not raining).

It will take me too long so sum up first impressions of all 16 designers, so I'll just cherry pick the ones I think are main contenders. Kenley- I like his chick. A cross between Dita Von Teese and Betty Page with a definite signature style, a throwback to days of old while maintaining a totally modern vibe. I would wear her dress today, tomorrow, as long as my tush fit in it. Kelli- bold, blond, bad to the bone. She's reminiscent of tatted Kat of Miami Ink fame and nailed the innovation challenge with a vacuum cleaner bag design that she manipulated into a truly gorgeous print. I loved the skirt, but wasn't too crazy about the coffee filter seashell bra top, but that's just me. The judges loved her daring bravado and deemed her the one to beat. At least for now...

Stay tuned...we're just getting started.


Anchors Away.

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I went sailing once. The Captain shouted orders at me to lower the jib jab on the mast thingamajigger. I just wanted to sit on the bow (stern, whatever) with a Corona and work on my sun tan.

I never went sailing again.

I may make a crummy first mate, but that doesn't mean I can't set sail with some nautical themed beach wear. I might get the coast guard's attention with this Anchor Bandeau Bikini...best case scenario, I score some free cocktails too.

I'll be feeling kind of naked, so I'll dress my teenie bikini up by dropping this Anchor necklace like it's hot...and to keep the sea theme going, it's even got a lobster clasp closure. Ha!

Last but not least, if I perspire I'll just delicately dab my brow with this Silk Anchor Hanky...or I can wave it around like a madwoman in case I find myself in an SOS situation. I wouldn't want to get stuck on a piece of driftwood like Rose from Titanic. "Come back, come back".

Lookin' ship shape.

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Cool stars sell bags.

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Would I buy any of these Kipling bags because Fergie endorsed them?

You betcha.

In fact, I'm so excited to buy one I'm practically peeing in my pants, just like Fergie did.

Maybe it's silly, but it gives us civilians a thrill to own something that has a celebrity stamp of approval on it. I hope Fergie has some extra pairs of Depends undergarments stored in one of those bags.

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I'm with the boy band.

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Justin Timberlake has prided himself on bringing sexy back. My question is- where did sexy go? Did it ever leave us? Did it go backpacking in Europe for a few years, not bothering to write or call?

And if sexy did leave, how did Justin return it to us? Certainly not in this getup. I know he's the designer of William Rast jeans, is that where he attributes his bringing sexy back claim to fame?

I'm sure looking back at his gericurled hair and bedazzled jeans from those out of sync N'Sync days make him Cry a River of tears now, but I'm glad to report our boy Justin has grown into a more relaxed style finding that sexiness is all in the simplicity.

Here are a few Justin inspired items for you boys. Not that you need them, I'm sure you've been sexy all along.

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First- accessories. Hats are big this season. Add some class to your ensemble with a neutral fedora inspired headpiece. Wear it cocked and the ladies will flock. I've always been a fan of Men's Neck Ties, there's something so corporate chic about it. Wear it loose with a sleek button down, or get creative and use it as a belt...it'll also rock as a makeshift guitar strap for all you sexy guitar players out there.

There ain't nothing sexier on a man than a plain white tee paired with a nice fitting, worn in pair of Jeans. Get a three pack of Hanes crewneck T-shirts and you'll always have one handy, it's up to you whether you wear it soaked or dry.

Get your sexy on.

Michelle Williams turns 28 years young today, but the birthday festivities may be a tad bittersweet.

Michelle has had a hard year. She ended her three year relationship with boyfriend and baby daddy Brokeback Mountain co-star Heath Ledger, then lost him tragically after a publicity hyped accidental prescription drug overdose. Michelle has had some time to heal, but with Academy Award buzz surrounding Heath's portrayal of the maniacal Joker in the newest Batman installment- The Dark Knight, old wounds are bound to resurface.


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I didn't buy you a gift Michelle, so today, I dress in your honor to commemorate your birth. I will dig in my closet, and try my best to capture your unique, arthouse, Mia Farrow in Rosemary's Baby sense of style. First, a feminine yet bold floral print dress, yes, got plenty of those. Now I need a pair of twenties style thigh high hose and colorful vintage peep toe pumps. Hmmm...We'll have to settle for knee high socks and some scoffed up mary janes. Last but not least, some waterproof mascara to play up those dramatic eyes... and in case I get torn up and cry over Heath.

I love your style, your grace and most of all, your strength. I wish you a very happy birthday Michelle. May you and your daughter Matilda be blessed this 28th year with some much deserved happiness...and more vintage peep toe pumps.

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Turn the other cheeky.

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Caprilee,

I'm not a thong girl, but don't want to be known as a *VPL girl either. Can you recommend any panties that make good thong alternatives?

Gracias!

Cheeky
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Hola Cheeky!

I don't wear thongs very often either, especially after that freak thong incident with that LA cop last month. My recommendation? Get yourself some hanky panky.

Hold on there Cheeky Monkey, I am by no means suggesting a shag with your fella, this isn't that kind of blog, I am suggesting the brand Hanky Panky- lacy underthings that are in my opinion, the holy grail of panties. No lie, these hanky pankies are in a word - swanky.

How do I love thee Hanky Panky? Let me count the ways...

1. I love that you're a one size fits all panty which means you meld to my shape - no saggy bottom Capri here.
2. I love that you come in an adorable variety of assorted colors and prints - over 30 if you please.
3. I love that I have no wedgies on Hanky Panky's watch.
4. I love that you come in low rise styles so I don't flash everyone when I do the limbo.
5. I love that you come in both thong and no thong varieties.
6. I love that you don't come apart in the washing machine.
7. I love your boy shorts almost as much as I love boys in general.
8. I love that you make me wanna have some hanky panky.

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But don't take my word for it. Hanky Panky's are good enough to cover up Cameron Diaz's, Cindy Crawford's, Jessica Simpson's and Kate Hudson's cheeks, so they should be good enough to cover yours.

De Nada.

*Footnote for my boy readers- VPL - An acronymn for Visible Panty Line: the unfortunate event where the panties of a woman are visible through the material of her lower-body clothing. This is a definite fashion faux pas and damages the overall aesthetic beauty of an otherwise lovely posterior.

Kitty pride.

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What's the difference between a cat and a comma?

One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.

Sorry. I'm a writer. These things kill me.

We all love kitties. From Hello Kitty to the Cheshire Cat, we can't get enough of those little furballs. I've got cat scratch fever for a few feline inspired items. I can't afford a full-out Catwoman suit, so these goodies will have to do.

This Hello Kitty Diamond Pave Ring ain't no joke. It's designed by Kimora Lee Simmons model turned designer and creator of Baby Phat and retails for $1,950. Slipping this kitty on my finger would make me happier than the cat who swallowed the canary...and then some.

It's hard to find a cat tee that isn't adorable, unless it features your real pet cat. Then it's just kind of creepy. Opt for this cutesy vintage wash Chococat T-shirt instead. It's the cat's pajamas.

Some chicks love their cats more than they love shoes. I would trade my dog and my cat (if I had a cat) for a pair of Manolo Blahniks, so I guess I'm not one of them. If you are, don't be embarrassed and wear a Cat Lover necklace advertising your undying love for Fluffy.

Wear them all together, or one at a time.

It'll be better than CATS.
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Geek chic.

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I started wearing glasses at the tender age of six.

My frames were black and awkward and bigger than my face. I wasn't a cool first grader. I loathed them, and to this day I still have qualms about wearing my glasses in public (even though they're a much cuter pair of designer frames and don't slide off the bridge of my nose every ten seconds). I'm terrified I'll be called Sammy four eyes and Ritchie Meyers will throw sand at me by the jungle gym. *Note to self- bring up Ritchie Meyers at next therapy session.

Imagine my dilemma now that geek chic is all the rage. What was once nerdy, is now glam. With a few key pieces, I might just get over my nerdy girl paranoia after all.

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I'll start out with a sleek three piece ensemble from Sarah Jessica Parker's Bitten line. Apparently Sarah still knows how to put a nerdy outfit together from her Square Pegs days...but with some Sexy and the City style thrown in for good measure.

You can't be a geek without a cool geeky gadget. I'll opt for this Talking watch from Urban Outfitters. Hopefully the bigger kids won't beat me up and steal it from me in the cafeteria during third period lunch.

When it comes to shoes, I used to think anything with a bow on top was pretty nerdy, but at least these Mindy Loafers have a touch of animal print to give them a little dash of style, although I'd rather trade the bow for a teenie slot for me to slip a penny in.

And last, but not least, the specs. Today, girls with 20/20 vision are wearing glasses, just because they want to be part of the geeky elite. These Poindexter glasses make you look at least 50 IQ points smarter, and you don't need to wait an hour at Lenscrafters for them to be made...and contrary to popular belief, boys do make passes at girls who wear glasses.

Now I'll just stock up on some pocket protectors and call it a day.

Get your geek on.

Fashion anthropology

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While cleaning out my Coach bag last night I found a $100 gift card to Anthropologie.

1. Uh...Yee-haw.

2. I guess I'm goin' a-shopping.


Good news:

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Bad news:

Freethinker Shirtdress + Roundup Bag + Winged Resin Bangle = A hell of a lot more than my $100 gift card.

Kirsten's Closet

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Why can't Perez Hilton leave poor Kirsten alone? Forever gossiping about her torrid love affairs with go Speed Racer go boy Emile Hirsch, Drew Barrymore's ex Justin Long, or her stint in rehab, Perez just can't give the girl a break. It's enough to make her commit virgin suicide (although technically. she probably hasn't been a virgin since way before her Bring it On days...I'm just sayin'). Relax Kiki. I mean no harm...I just want to focus on what's really important. Your clothes.

If I raided Kirsten Dunst's closet, I bet I'd find a pair of aptly named Kirsten Skinny Jeans , a hip retro concert tee like this
Smiths Reglan
, an Animal Print Scarf (that's totally the Cat's Meow), and a pair of white rock star Love Potion Sunglasses to shield those baby blues. All this on a good day.

Or I could be totally wrong and she just has a powdered wig and a Spidey suit.

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Samara Sanchez

About Sammy

Sammy Sanchez is a Miami based freelance writer, greeting card designer, and self-professed USWeeklyholic. Sammy loves tall coffee light frappuccinos, vino not from a box, and Mark Ruffalo...not necessarily in that order.
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