I went sailing once. The Captain shouted orders at me to lower the jib jab on the mast thingamajigger. I just wanted to sit on the bow (stern, whatever) with a Corona and work on my sun tan.

I never went sailing again.

I may make a crummy first mate, but that doesn't mean I can't set sail with some nautical themed beach wear. I might get the coast guard's attention with this Anchor Bandeau Bikini...best case scenario, I score some free cocktails too.

I'll be feeling kind of naked, so I'll dress my teenie bikini up by dropping this Anchor necklace like it's hot...and to keep the sea theme going, it's even got a lobster clasp closure. Ha!

Last but not least, if I perspire I'll just delicately dab my brow with this Silk Anchor Hanky...or I can wave it around like a madwoman in case I find myself in an SOS situation. I wouldn't want to get stuck on a piece of driftwood like Rose from Titanic. "Come back, come back".

Lookin' ship shape.