It has recently come to my attention that I've been neglecting the Viewing Party section of this blog. In the words of the legendary Kurt Cobain, all apologies ladies (and mostly gay gents). I just can't seem to keep up with my Tivo these days and sincerely apologize for falling fashionably behind. So in order to make it up to you, I'm giving you a two-for-one with a Cliff's Notes rundown of television's most stylish moments from the past few months, crammed together at the last minute, like my 10th grade research paper on Jane Eyre.
Cycle 12 did not disappoint with another group of skinny girls (who all wanna be on top) fighting tooth, nail and extension for a shot at Tyra Banks' top title. Teyona, the gorgeous Jersey girl with the Crest-White-Strips smile from Woodstown wins, beating an awkward, alien-like Allison whose big weird deer-eyes in the headlights look carried her all the way to the finals. Teyona might've screwed up her easy, breezy, beautiful Cover Girl commercial and was trippin' when she wore a nightgown to judges panel, but she rocked the final fashion show in Brazil, tearing out her fake ponytail and whipping it around with the fierceness and dexterity of a jungle cat.
Season highlight - When a jealous, over the hill Celia sabotaged burn victim Tahlia in an effort to get her eliminated. Celia got torn a new one by Tyra because no one likes a tattletale, especially one who looks like a vampire from the cast of Buffy.
Season 5 brought about many a stylish strife despite the absence of Whitney Port, especially when Spencer's little sis Stephanie got fired from a dream intern job at People's Revolution with Lauren forced to give her the thigh-high boot. You can pretty much kiss your handbag designing dreams goodbye Steph (No one messes with Kelly Cutrone). Spidey is finally getting married after a few brief rounds of turmoil with a silly fame seeking bartender named Stacie, Lo gets a job at Smashbox, Audrina makes out with Brody Jenner and breaks up with Justin Bobby, and Spencer grows half a ball and apologizes to LC for spreading those nasty sex, lies and videotape rumors. This Sunday is the hour long season finale - Will Spidey finally become one? Will LC be there? Will Heidi's cowboy Dad be packing his Colt 45 when he moseys Heidi on down the aisle?
Season lowlight - Knowing the girl behind the Hills, Lauren Conrad, will be moving on to bigger and better things with a seaon 6 replacement already lined up - fellow Laguna Beach alum and blonde troublemaker Kristin Cavallari. I wish I was wearing my Tootie Ramsey rollerskates when I say-
There's gonna be trouble...make that a double...
Fashion TV Roundup Part Deux Electric Boogaloo to follow next week...