I will always have a soft spot for Swatch.

I recall the sweet days of the seventh grade when I sported two pastel hued Swatches at the same time paired with black Madonnaesque bracelets piled up high on my opposite wrist. I am not embarrassed by this. I am embarrassed, however, by the fact that my ultimate goal was to sport three Swatch watches per wrist. On each arm.

It's nice to see that unlike other dated fashion trends from the eighties, (rat tails - banana clips - sweaters wrapped around the neck) Swatches have stood their ground and are still as popular today as they were back in the days when I had a mouth full of metal, concave boobs and feathered bangs.

I thank my Mom for not indulging my multiple Swatch watch wishes and telling me that: "Two are more than enough. When I was your age, we only wore one watch."

Even though I already have tons of watches that I adore, I still yearn for the watches of my youth that are cooler and more acceptable than my classic Strawberry Shortcake/Pupcake windup.

Right now I'm in love with these two shiny happy Summer Swatches:

This Rainbow-Brite like Color the Sky Swatch serves up a rainbow of fruit flavored stripes that makes me want to take a running leap onto my neighbors' Slip 'n Slide, while this fem and flowery Spring Touch Swatch reminds me to stop and smell my neighbors' flowers after dominating their kid's Slip 'n Slide. Both are sold for $60 each, *Swatch Guards are sold separately.

Pick up one or pick up both, but do not, I repeat - do not wear them both at the same time.

At least not on my watch.

Model coming to the realization that she didn't really need that 537th necklace.

I missed the Mtv Movie Awards last night because I was busy watching the Miami Heat open up a can of whoop-ass on the Dallas Mavericks to take the lead in the NBA Finals, just two mere games away from the NBA championship. What can I say? I'm a Miami girl, born and raised, and my allegiance was elsewhere. Don't be hating.

I did, however, take in a Red Carpet rundown first thing this morning and will now share my picks for best and worst dressed based on the rotten tomatoes sliding scale.

Certified Fresh:

Kristen Stewart always rocks the Mtv Awards red carpet. Her safety zone is always something short, something scarlet and something severe. This year, she did not stray from her signature style with a mini Balmain sheath that was safety pin and sequin studded, making Kristen rival that hot chick from the ZZ Top video. Yeah, she's got legs.

While Kristen explored her spicy side, Selena Gomez dominated the sweeter side of the Red Carpet in a neutral toned minidress from Giambattista Valli that fit her like a ladylike glove.

Rotten Tomatoes:

Supermodel and Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition goddess, Brooklyn Decker, decided to hide her amazing borough of a bod in a gold and sparkly shapeless shift while Gossip Girl's Jessica Szohr decided to cougar it up in a black and white paisley pantsuit.

Allow me to remind you both that:

1. You are at the Mtv Movie Awards.
2. You are both in your twenties.
3. You are not making a guest appearance on the Love Boat, circa 1981.

Now go play some shuffleboard on the Lido deck and stop wasting my time.

I've been rather obsessed with fruit lately, for both nutritional and recreational reasons. Besides striving for 5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day to keep my body looking at least grade Vitamin C worthy on the beach, (Mike's Hard Lemonade doesn't count) I have also recently mastered the art of cyber fruit slicing (Arigato, Fruit Ninja).

My fruit frenzy has also filtered into my swimwear. For the past few seasons I've found myself gravitating strictly towards solid colored suits, but now I'm feeling the need to add some flava to my arsenal of bikini tops and bottoms. Now I can go from safe to citrusational on the sand with a collection of swimsuits that pack in more servings of fruit than a bottle of V8 Splash.

The boyfriend and I drove past a truckbed of watermelons this weekend that were 5 for $3. I hate myself for not picking up a few, but I can still complement my own melons in the Poko Pano Stripe Halter and matching Melon Side Tie Bottom set from dELiA*s, on sale for $39.50 a slice. Unfortunately, I can't put vodka in my suit to make it a higher proof.

If you subscribe to the mantra, Life is like a bowlful of cherries, check out the Cherries Jubilee Bikini Collection from Venus Swimwear. Cherry pick your favorite bikini tops on sale from $32, bottoms for $19 and matching wrap skirt for $18.

Yes, my fruit salad has no bananas (they get mushy), but I am a fan of anything banana scented and/or printed, including this potassium rich Yellow Banana Print Bikini from Topshop, $52 for the set. It'll make you want to do banana splits while monkeying around on the beach, and it comes in turquoise too.

Not going ape s*** over the banana suit? Pull an anti-Granny Smith in Topshop's sweet Cream Apple Print Padded Bikini that pairs a detachable strap bikini top with a classic pant for $55.

I like them apples.

Model completely unphased by the case of crabs in her shorts.

Jessica and Ashlee Simpson are pulling a Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen by merging their sibling style sense and sensibilities to design a new clothing line for fashion forward juniors. The line will feature sportswear, denim, activewear and accessories for Justin Beiber lovin' 9 to 12 year old tweens, sizes 7 to 16.

I don't know how I feel about this. I think it's great that the Simpson sisters are collaborating on a project together, but I can't help grimacing every time I picture a 4th grader wearing a miniature version of Jessica's High-Waisted Mom Jeans or being inspired by Ashlee's new penchant for ponchos.

The line will be available in over 400 stores sometime this fall and is reported to feature graphic tees, hoodies, denim and colored jeans, shorts, leggings and more tween friendly styles as seen below. Not too shabby Simpsons, although I'm not loving the gray faux fur Muppet vest.

Jess told Women's Wear Daily that “Creating a tween apparel collection was a natural extension for the brand. I’m excited to bring my sister, Ashlee, along as co-creative director of this division, because she brings a savvy rocker edge that defines today’s tweens...” .

Ashlee made a comment too, it was pre-recorded and lip-synced.

I almost considered buying a fanny pack for my last European vacation.

Before you judge, I was diligently warned that while in Europe, gypsies would throw babies at me. They would then proceed to steal my purse as I tried to catch their aerodynamic offspring. My fear of hip Europeans pointing and laughing at my fanny on the street overruled the stresses of keeping my money close to my tummy, so I opted for a chic yet stable leather crossbody bag that would at least take more than one gypsy to rip off of my petite, American frame.

Little did I know that I had nothing to fear, for the Pack was making a comeback.

You heard right. The Fanny Pack is back. With a vengeance.

I must warn you that although they are making a comeback, this is still a Hit or Miss trend. Here are some tips to keep your fanny fresh:

* Instead of going all cliche wearing it around your waist, try something new like slinging it sideways diagonally across the torso. Warning: Do not wear it around your neck as a necklace or resting on your butt. Then fanny got back.

* Make sure your fanny is tight. You can achieve this by doing squats, and/or by going a step beyond the old school zippered packs that your Aunt Fannie Mae wore on your family reunion trip to Disneyland. Use your fanny pack to accentuate your small waist without adding bulk to it.

There are tons of fashionable fanny options out there, from the ultra affordable and vibrant Vinyl Fanny Packs from American Apparel to the cool, Distressed Leather Packs that come off more like a belt with a pouch than a fanny with a pack.

Here are a few more of my favorite fannies of all shapes and sizes, broken down by style:

For the Artist - Free People features their Artists and Revolutionaries Fanny Pack for $198, see how the model slings it sideways? She listens to Sammy.

For the Hipster - The Ecote Tassel Belt Bag from Urban Outfitters is a soft pebbled faux-leather belt/bag hybrid available in black or brown and topped with cool tassel zipper pulls. The belt is adjustable with two handy zippered compartments and antiqued hardware, for $39.

For the Socialite: If you prefer fancier der·ri·ère baggage, you can't get any more posh than with this posterior pack from Diane Von Furstenberg. Pick up her Small Leather Belt Bag on sale at Net-a-Porter for $195.

For the Athlete - The Adidas Bum Bag by Stella McCartney will keep your valuables safe while you sweat it out at the gym or on a jog, for $90.

For the Anti- Fanny Packer - If you still aren't feeling the fanny, try the Eagle Creek UnderCover Pack from eBags for $24. It's slim and silky enough to wear concealed under your top and is technically called a Money Belt, so you can pretend you're all fit and fanny free.

I've received many requests for more posts during the week, so in an effort to please the fashion masses while still finding time to eat, sleep, breathe, play with my dog, hug my boyfriend and wash myself, I am going to try something new here at Let's Talk Style.

I am going to try to impart even more of my style wisdom while practicing the art of brevity with a quick tip of the week that is limited to ten words or less. It's like Minute to Win It, but without the games, prizes or Guy Fieri. Actually, it's nothing like Minute To Win It. It's more like style based haiku, only without the three phrases of 5, 7 and... you know what? It's not like anything. I am breaking new ground.

Here goes:

Patent leather shoes rule because you can wipe off dirt.

Ten words. I so got this.

She couldn't wait to update her Facebook status from "It's Complicated" to "In a Relationship" with food.

Dear Manager/Chick Working Register at Arden B.,

Thanks for the stellar customer service you provided me this weekend when I tried to return a pair of shoes! The sucking of your teeth masterfully combined with your passive aggressive eye rolling and muttering of expletives while slamming the register keys was not only an impressive display of multitasking, but it also made me feel like a real Arden B. VIP, and I'm not even part of your rewards program!

I realize that it was very rude of me to interrupt your time managing an empty store and I completely compromised your time playing mannequin hoochie dress up. I sincerely apologize for flustering you when I asked you to explain your store's return policy that directly conflicted with Arden B.'s online return policy and the return policy of every other Arden B. retail store in the Continental US. I didn't mean to put you on the spot. This was shopping after all, not an episode of Jeopardy.

I have a few years of retail experience under my belt as well, and it's so weird. If I had treated any of my customers with the same stellar courtesy that you had extended to me last Saturday afternoon (at the Gardens of Palm Beach Mall in Florida), The last thing I would have expected was a thank you letter in return. In fact, I am fairly certain that my District Managers at The Limited and/or Victoria's Secret would have fired me on the spot! Go figure.

Again, thank you for finally agreeing to return my shoes and for raising the bar when it comes to exemplary customer service. Next time I will simply wear and wobble down the street in the shoes that are half a size too big rather than run the risk of hurting your feelings and making your work day consist of, well, work.

Sincerely,
Sammy

Any lil' ole fashion blogger like me would kill for the chance to have high tea with her favorite designers/supermodels. This is precisely why I love curling up on the couch with my Prèt-à-porTEA bags from Fred Flare for $16.

Every afternoon I look forward to sharing a nice warm cup of tea, mini cucumber sandwiches, scones and petit fours with five different members of the fashion elite.

Yes, I can ask Karl Lagerfeld what's up with his weird Magnum ice cream collaboration with Rachel Bilson, I can get faux tanning advice from Donatella, dig for details on the magical marriage union between Claudia Schiffer and David Copperfield, and I can even find out how Naomi Campbell's anger management issues are progressing.

Just my cup of tea.

Quickie Hair Tip when you have no time. 10 words or less.

Wash bangs instead of entire head. No bangs? Use this.

Ha, did it!!

She didn't understand the painting, that and long division.

So, my birthday was last weekend and I am officially an old bag. I mean this literally. I'm older than a vintage Cartier clutch I've been eyeing on eBay.

Thank you guys for all of the candygrams, someecards and cyber goodies you sent, I'm so touched that you remembered.

My birthday rocked, but now I'm experiencing the post bday blues. I don't have any more cake, cards or Facebook wall posts to look forward to, and my complimentary Chef's Club dinner at Benihana is about to expire... which brings me to the subject of this blog post - Birthday Bonuses.

I was thrilled to find dozens of coupons in my inbox and home mailbox this past month. From free desserts at dives all over town to mega discounts off of Steve Madden shoes. The only problem? I'm running out of time to cash all of it in.

I have already collected my free Philosophy Shower Gel (Thanks Sephora!) and enjoyed a Grande Skinny Vanilla Latte this morning, compliments of Starbucks, but I'm still in the weeds. I especially feel obligated to spend my favorite birthday bonus from Anthropologie - an adorable card that arrived via snail mail in an even more adorable pouch, personalized especially for me and my astrological sign (Cancer, the month of the crab).

I would hate to let all of these outrageous offers expire, so I've been cyber scurrying online, checking out the merchandise at Anthropologie, Victoria's Secret, Urban Outfitters, DSW, BCBG and other stores in the hopes of finding cute clothes that will cure me of my post pardum birthdepression. The only problem is, I'm going to go broke buying myself presents.

From now on, it might be more prudent to pass all of these coupons on to my loved ones before my birthday. I mean, they're buying me gifts anyway, why not save 15% to 25% on their purchases?

It would be my gift to them.*

Summer style tip, ten words or less...

Old Jeans + Scissors + Cheese Grater = DIY Distressed Cutoffs!