Dear Manager/Chick Working Register at Arden B.,
Thanks for the stellar customer service you provided me this weekend when I tried to return a pair of shoes! The sucking of your teeth masterfully combined with your passive aggressive eye rolling and muttering of expletives while slamming the register keys was not only an impressive display of multitasking, but it also made me feel like a real Arden B. VIP, and I'm not even part of your rewards program!
I realize that it was very rude of me to interrupt your time managing an empty store and I completely compromised your time playing mannequin hoochie dress up. I sincerely apologize for flustering you when I asked you to explain your store's return policy that directly conflicted with Arden B.'s online return policy and the return policy of every other Arden B. retail store in the Continental US. I didn't mean to put you on the spot. This was shopping after all, not an episode of Jeopardy.
I have a few years of retail experience under my belt as well, and it's so weird. If I had treated any of my customers with the same stellar courtesy that you had extended to me last Saturday afternoon (at the Gardens of Palm Beach Mall in Florida), The last thing I would have expected was a thank you letter in return. In fact, I am fairly certain that my District Managers at The Limited and/or Victoria's Secret would have fired me on the spot! Go figure.
Again, thank you for finally agreeing to return my shoes and for raising the bar when it comes to exemplary customer service. Next time I will simply wear and wobble down the street in the shoes that are half a size too big rather than run the risk of hurting your feelings and making your work day consist of, well, work.