Here is my quickie recap of last night's VMA's - The cast of the Jersey Shore looked collectively hideous. Sadly, the Situation skipped out on the event once he realized that tee shirt time was over now that he was contractually obligated to not wear his Ambercrombie and Fitch graphic crew neck tees.
I kid. On a positive note, there were more than a few rock star stunners in the crowd. I say "muy bueno" to Columbiana star, Zoe Saldana, who smoldered in a sexy black beaded leather deep V mini by Barbara Bui paired with babelicious Balenciaga pumps.
Pre-show black carpet correspondent and Beiberbabe, Selena Gomez, looked like a classy Miss Universe contestant-slash-Morticia Adams in a lacy black Julien Macdonald dress. Don't ask me why, but it worked. Trick or treat, smell my feet, hey Selena, give me something good to eat.
Beyonce was a fiery vision in red, wearing a beautifully draped, regal Lanvin gown. Our favorite former single lady maximized her time on the black carpet by announcing that she had a bun in the Easy Bake Beyonce oven. Congrats B, on your pregnancy and on finding the right dress. p.s. Vanessa Hudgens looked more pregnant than you.
Tie for Worst Dressed goes to Nicky Minag who is apparently still under a SARS scare, and Versace geisha Katy Perry who both looked like toys that came out of my Big Kids Happy Meal for girls.
Best Crossed Dressed goes to Jo Calone, Lady Gaga's greasy male persona who rocked a southern rendition of You and I with Brian May from Queen. You were incredible on the piano Jo, but you looked like a mixture of Tony Montana of Scarface and Sal Mineo from Rebel Without a Cause. When it comes to taking risks, you're always good to go Gaga. At least this year your outfit didn't stink of rotting meat.