Beauty

April 26, 2008

Ciao bella.

I was flipping through my new Nylon magazine the other day and I came across a two page spread featuring the new Guess girl, who anyone can tell at first glance is the spitting image of Italian goddess Sophia Loren. The ad was arty...black and white... sophisticated, much like Sophia herself. Very classic, cool. No rants here, like i've had with other weird ass ad campaigns of late.

sophia loren guess.jpg

My mind drifted as I recalled other classic Guess ads, topping the list: the quintessential Anna Nicole Smith campaign that first put her on the map (and in the centerfold of Playboy) before she went cuckoo for cocoa puffs marrying that dude who was older than Moses's grandpappy.

anna_nicole_smith.jpg


In those ads Anna Nicole was Marilyn Monroe reincarnated. A mixture of old Hollywood glamour, and bad girl sexuality that enticed men and women alike. I started to wonder, is this new Guess girl going to become as famous as Anna Nicole? Will she be famous for resembling Sophia the way Anna resembled Marilyn, or because her beauty stands on it's own? Will she follow the same path ending in a sad, untimely death?

Good tidings to you Guess girl. I hope you have a long career ahead of you with no Guess curses to contend with. A few words of advice- don't marry a man who remembers listening to FDR's Fireside chats, and stay away from Howard Stern...radio talk show Howard is fine.

*Keepin' guessin',

sammy

Beauty

April 10, 2008

Don't Read my Lips, Burn Them

I figured it might be good to give some structure to my utter randomness, so this next post will hopefully become a weekly forum to give a shout out to whatever product/ celebrity/accessory is floating my boat. This week, it’s all about the gloss. Yes, I have a rather unhealthy addiction to lip gloss. Without it, I feel naked. More naked than Madonna on the cover of that Sex book hailing a taxi. In fact, there’s been many a time when I leave the house sans other various essentials- wallet…cell phone…bra….but alas, if I have a shiny, pouty pucker, I am complete. Which lip gloss is my poison you ask? DuWop’s Lip Venom.

lip venom.jpg

It's been around since '99, and became an instant cult success prompting dozens of glossy copycats. The first time you put it on, you’d swear you just kissed Flava Flav after he ate a cinnamon flavored candy apple. No lie, the stuff burns, burns, burns in a ring of fire around your mouth. But then you get strangely accustomed to the tingles, and eventually…if your lip gloss doesn’t feel like it’s going to melt your mouth off, it feels like it’s not working. There are additional plumping properties as well, plus it’s fun to kiss your dude with it after he’s pissed you off.

There. The first step is acceptance. Where’s my chip?

*Keepin' it real...
sammy

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