The Britney Diet

Atkins, South Beach and now... The Britney Diet! Endorsed by trailer parks all across the south- and spreading like an Ecoli outbreak in a mass bagged spinach recall- Britney's diet may push her right back into A-list stardom.

Do you like refined sugar? Processed meats? Simple Carbohydrates? Don't we all!?! Enjoy life again with all your favorite Americana WT classics like hot dogs, Doritos, Twinkies, real soda pop and before bed treats like ice cream (Sean Preston's favorite!)

The best part about this diet? "You never have to step foot in a grocery store if you don't want to. The Burger King drive through and 7-11 have everything I need" noted one TBD devotee.

Posted by Lili at 11:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

... Not yet a (self respecting) woman.

Is that Alice Cooper or Britney?

Britney was shooting her come back video "Get Back" in an LA warehouse donning cottage cheese thighs and a naughty teddy meets old lady skirt swimsuit ensemble. Let's not even get into the hat. Looks like the only thing Brit should worry about getting back right now is her figure.

Posted by Lili at 03:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Britney Spears Leaves Rehab, Enters the Poorhouse

Britney Spears is clean and sober now that she left Promises rehab in Malibu. Financially, she is not in such great shape. In the past two years alone, Brit has blown through $21 million of her $32 million fortune and is scared to death of facing bankruptcy. She is selling her Beverly Hills Mansion in a desperate bid to raise some cash. She should get back together with Justin. He has all of the white rapper thug appeal of K-Fed except he has talent, intelligence, a paycheck.

Posted by Robin Kassner at 10:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The Bald and the Beautiful

In the grand tradition of Mariah Carey, Anne Heche and Margot Kidder, Britney "Shears" has officially gone off the deep end! She checked into rehab, checked out a day later, got a tattoo and shaved her head totally bald. Note to parents (Dina Lohan you know who you are): this is what happens when you make your kid the breadwinner at 6 and they work their whole lives instead of having a childhood. Either this or you end up on Breaking Bonaduce.

Posted by Robin Kassner at 05:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)