Celebrity Sightings Archives

It is said that both good and bad things come in threes: Natural disasters, musketeers, blind mice...buses.

In writing, the rule of three insists that things that come in threes are inherently funnier, more satisfying, more effective and more memorable than any other numerical combination.

When it comes to celebrities, the power of three also comes into play with celebrity baby births, celebrity deaths and the deaths of celebrity relationships.

Hollywood hotties Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds couldn't take the heat so they're getting out of the marital kitchen, filing for divorce after two years of holy matrimony; Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens are like, totally broken up after three years of being High School Musical sweethearts; and Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter of Dexter have put an end to their onscreen incest, killing their relationship off right before the holidays. Hmpf. I was almost positive they'd outlive the awkward union between Batista and Lieutenant LaGuerta.

I haven't decided yet if these break-ups fall into the tragic or comedic categories. What do I know?

I know that Christmas came early this year with a slew of Christmas wishes granted now that People's Sexiest Man Alive and GQ's Babe of the Year are single.

God bless us, everyone.

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My blogging communities tell me that one of the hot topics everyone is tweeting about is how country crooner and two time Grammy winner LeAnn Rimes is caught between a rock and a hard place with rumors traversing cyberspace regarding her alleged tryst with her Lifetime Television movie co-star. Apparently, LeAnn was captured on a security camera making out with her married Northern Lights co-star, Eddie Cibrian. Ouch.

I saw the supposed footage of LeAnn and the former Sunset Beach and Third Watch star and, well... it's hard to tell. The incriminating scene resembles one of those brief America's Most Wanted re-enactments where poorly trained actors reconstruct crimes of passion.

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I don't know how to feel about this. Cheating is a sore subject for me but I've always liked LeAnn. In her defense, she was just a baby when she married former backup dancer Dean Sheremet. She was a mere 20 years old, at that time I still couldn't handle making my car insurance payments much less handle being a housewife. Dean has refrained from making any statements to the press. Perhaps LeAnn is serenading him every night with her version of How Do I Live Without You to gain forgiveness. Perhaps not.

LeAnn has remained calm, cool and collected, sticking to a token response claiming that not everything is always black and white. I don't know if the allegations are true or false but if the rumors are fact rather than fiction, I can only assume that LeAnn and Eddie were bored as heck up north in Nora Roberts' fictional land and needed to find something to do to keep warm during that cold Lifetime shoot.

Not that that's a good reason or anything.

Dear Sammy,

What is up with Joaquin Phoenix? He used to be so cute. I'm confused. Is this a new fashion trend for men?

Betsy

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Dear Betsy,

I too have been baffled ever since Joaquin's freaky David Letterman appearance where I questioned if it was all just a brilliant and elaborate publicity stunt or if Joaquin is seriously Walking the Line of mental insanity.

I really hope it's just a phase. I have loved Joaquin ever since his name was Leaf and he snuck into camp with Leah Thompson and the older kids in Space Camp. My devotion only intensified when he was nominated for an Academy Award for his insane (in a good way) portrayal of the legendary Johnny Cash. Since then, the 34-year-old actor has announced that he's giving up acting, pursuing a career in the music industry as a hip-hop artist and has apparently made a vow to end his commitment to personal hygiene.

Just to clarify Betsy, NO - this is not a fashion trend your dude should follow...unless he is in a ZZ Top cover band.

I'm guessing his ex Liv Tyler isn't crying over the one that got away.

Having a fashion dilemma or crisis?

Need to know what top goes with what bottom?

Don't go it alone. Ask Sammy!

No one really knew how well 90210 redux would perform in the ratings. Would the popular hit of the 90's fare well in the new millenium (especially without Dylan and Brandon)? Apparently we all still have a soft spot for the most infamous zip code in the Continental US. Aaron Spelling would be proud of the revival of his teen lifestyles of the rich and famous drama that not only survived sweeps, but has survived almost an entire season without cast member Shannen Doherty bitch slapping anyone.

It was only a matter of time before the CW producers decided to capitalize on the success by bringing back another deliciously cheesy, sexed up soap - Melrose Place. The prime time cult series gave birth to the careers of Desperate Housewife Marcia Cross (remember that crazy scar on her head?), Sex in the City's adorably sweet Charlotte Kristin Davis, and Gossip Girl mom (and mother of Hermès) Kelly Rutherford.

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Speaking of gossip, girls...word is that new Mom and fall out wife Ashlee Simpson-Wentz is the newest resident slated to move in on Melrose Place, leaving the Bronx for LA. Mom needed to get back to work at some point and will be bringing home the turkey bacon by playing a small time girl with a bad girl hidden inside, similar to original cast member Amy Locane's turn as the blonde, budding Southern belle starlet Sandy Harling who moonlighted as a waitress at the bar Shooters. Ahhh....Remember Shooters? Good times, good times.

Ashlee claimed in People magazine - "I'm thrilled to be joining the cast of `Melrose Place' and I look forward to being a part of its new generation of residents"...Even though she isn't a newcomer to acting (Ashlee had a brief stint on Seventh Heaven) I don't think that the small screen is the right place for the new-mom, new-nosed beauty.

I wouldn't unpack all of my bags if I were you Ash...and make sure you get that security deposit back.

Get ready to shake your rattle and roll little Harlow, 'cause baby #2 is on the way for your rock star Moms and Pops - Nicole Ritchie and Joel Madden. That's right, according to TMZ, UsWeekly, People and all of my other gossip bibles, Nicole Ritchie is knocked up again and pleased as punch to be expanding the Ritchie-Madden clan.

As I've blogged about before, I love Nicole and her clothes, and am sure Harlow is going to make the best big sister ever.

At a recent press conference held at a Bulild-A-Bear-Worshop, Nicole and Joel made a joint statement claiming that they are both beary, beary happy.

Bad dum bum.

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If you haven't heard, our favorite Black Eyed Pea walked down the aisle all dressed in White in a one-of-a-kind Dolce & Gabbana gown on January 10th, 2009. Yes, our glamorous Fergie tied the knot in a secret hush hush wedding ceremony to her boyfriend of 5 years, Las Vegas star Josh Duhamel.

It was a totally fergalicious reception with a 150 lb castle cake that was so delicious, and although the wedding details were trés suspicious, there were plenty of A-liscious celebs there to lawfully witness Stacey Ferguson become Josh Duhamel's Misses after the long awaited "I do" kisses.

The wedding bore no resemblance to the 1986 nuptials of former member of the British Royal Family Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York whose wedding dress was more fugalicious than fergalicious.

Sorry Sarah, I don't mean to be malicious.

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I blogged yesterday about the wholesome runaway holiday hit Marley & Me starring Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, and a dog that's captured the hearts of moviegoers across the country (plus a few ecstatic studio heads). Here Jennifer Aniston is looking not so wholesome, all tied up on the cover of GQ. There has been some controversy surrounding her dare to bare cover, and Jen recently admitted that her sexy as sin GQ cover was retouched.

Most men will agree, a chick donning a man's tie is pretty high on the Richter scale of hotness. On most fashion shoots celebrity actresses get to skim through racks and racks of divine couture clothing, choosing their perfect look. I imagine the rack for this shoot looked pretty sparse when Jen rifled through it, with bow ties, long ties, short ties and maybe even a few bolo ties hanging there all by their lonesome.

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If I were styling this shoot, I'd head to Charles Tyrwhitt Shirts for their smart collection of men's dress ties because if you're limited to only one accessory, you'd better make it good.

I'm sure Jen's beau John Mayer - the prostitude was fit to be tied when he saw the cover. What guy wants to share their 97% naked lady love's likeness with a readership of over 4 million?

Maybe the cover was a ploy from Jen, subliminally urging John to tie the knot.

Smart move Jen...smart move.

The People have spoken. Hugh Jackman is the sexiest man alive according to People Magazine...

and me.

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I love Hugh you. I mean, I love you Hugh.

One of my very best friends lives in Boston Mass. According to the weather channel this morning, it's 47 degrees up there today in Beantown. It's a sweltering, muggy 82 degrees in Miami. I'd give my favorite chunky ring for a 35 degree drop down in these parts.

I may not be in the market for cute coats to keep me snuggly warm, but my girl up in Boston is, so I thought I'd spend the morning scouting out hot winter outfits for her... My inspiration? Leighton Meester, aka Blair Waldorf of Gossip Girl fame.

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I'm sure my friend already has tons of turtlenecks in her closet. In my humble opinion, they serve as the winter equivalent of the summer tank top. Get some in a few basic colors like these sweet Thumbhole Turtlenecks, and you'll have tons of layering potential. Or go the unlayered route less traveled and wear it by itself with a pair of boot leg jeans. It's certainly hot enough to go it alone. By the by, did I mention these babydoll turtlenecks are only $7.99? A great deal if you ask me, especially considering the fact that Blair Waldorf's probably cost $799.

Caprilee's blog yesterday was tight on tights, so I won't be repetitive, I'll just move straight to the main event: The coat. My friend moved to a posh new apartment a few months back and sadly lost her collection of winter coats in the process. This Primaries & Cream Coat from BB Dakota has so much visual interest, I can't stand it.

Love the plaid, love the cowl neck (wear up or down to create totally different mod looks), love the lovely autumn shades from pumpkin to caramel that'll go with everything in your closet, and most of all...I love the price. It's only $72.99 from Modcloth.com which again is a great steal when you compare it to Leighton's. Hers probably cost close to my next mortgage payment.

I may be sweating here in Miami, but I can still ride my Bostonite's coattails.


J Love and Special Sauce

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Lately there's been big talk about Jennifer Love Hewitt's big weight loss. Ever since pictures of her surfaced in a bikini looking virtually unacceptable by Hollywood standards, J Love has been scrutinized and open to tons of scathing tabloid and blogosphere burns. That must have hurt, even more than the dozens of times Bailey Salinger broke her heart on Party of Five.

Whenever I blog about celebrities, I always try to find the most flattering pictures I can to pair with my editorial piece. It's a simple respect I have for my girls. I know I don't want to be tagged in unflattering photos on MySpace or Facebook, so I follow the golden rule: "Post photos of others as I would have others post photos of me".

Exhibit A-

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Bloggers who aren't as kind as yours truly will have to find another celebrity to bring to tears because this week Jennifer Love turned up on the cover of USWeekly having lost 18 pounds in 10 weeks. She's showing off her new wedding-ready body, is ready to premiere a new season of Ghost Whisperer and has found a healthier, happier outlook despite all of the media scrutiny she's been put through.

I personally thought she looked just as beautiful before all of this nonsense surfaced, especially when sporting her hot Hanes all-over comfort bras, but that's just me...

...and I'm golden.

Sex and the Cheaty?

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Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are the latest celebrity couple in dire need of damage control, according to Star magazine. After 11 long years together of being considered Hollywood's King and Queen of fidelity, it's been reported that Matthew Broderick has been seeing a twenty-something chick on the side. Sarah and Matt have put up a united front, refusing to comment on the rumors and have even been seen walking the streets of New York together hand in hand in an act of solidarity, but is Matt's refusal to comment a silent acceptance of guilt?

I don't want it to be true. If it isn't true, shame on you Star. If it is true, shame on you Matt.

If it is true, why Matthew, why? Is it that you haven't really been considered sexy since your War Games/Ferris Bueller days? Is it because you finally watched the entire uncensored Sex and the City boxed set watching SJP smooching all of the fine men of the tri state area? Was it the success of the Sex and the City movie that led you to stray? Maybe it was that hat she wore to the premiere.

Hopefully the rumors are rubbish and this entire ordeal will just be a blip on the Parker/Broderick monogamy radar, at least for their 4 year old son's sake. If not, and Matthew did in fact let his Sausage King of Chicago out of his pants, I say:

Sarah: Give Matthew some fierce bitch snaps, head to Mexico with Kristin, Cynthia, and Kim, then indulge in some big revenge with the Mexican equivalent of Mr. Big (Señor Big).

Matt: Put on your big boy panties and admit what you've done. You may not be getting any more sex in the city, the country, or anywhere else any time soon but at least you will have come clean. If not, you put 'em on Sarah, and dance around in your closet like your alter ego Carrie Bradshaw knowing no matter what happens, you can still be single and fabulous.

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Kirsten's Closet

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Why can't Perez Hilton leave poor Kirsten alone? Forever gossiping about her torrid love affairs with go Speed Racer go boy Emile Hirsch, Drew Barrymore's ex Justin Long, or her stint in rehab, Perez just can't give the girl a break. It's enough to make her commit virgin suicide (although technically. she probably hasn't been a virgin since way before her Bring it On days...I'm just sayin'). Relax Kiki. I mean no harm...I just want to focus on what's really important. Your clothes.

If I raided Kirsten Dunst's closet, I bet I'd find a pair of aptly named Kirsten Skinny Jeans , a hip retro concert tee like this
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, an Animal Print Scarf (that's totally the Cat's Meow), and a pair of white rock star Love Potion Sunglasses to shield those baby blues. All this on a good day.

Or I could be totally wrong and she just has a powdered wig and a Spidey suit.

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Sienna busted.

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It seems one of my favorite British fashion imports, actress and this month's Elle UK cover girl Sienna Miller has been caught with her top down smooching married Brothers and Sisters star Balthazar Getty. Not only is the all grown up Lord of the Flies star married, but he's got four, yep, 1-2-3-4 kids. Now she might as well be known as Burnt Sienna, and I'm not talking about the sunburn she got while canoodling on a boat in Italy.

I don't get it. Hey celebrities- news fa-lash, haven't you caught on by now, just like the rhythm is gonna get you, the paparazzi is gonna get you. Whether you're shopping on Melrose Avenue in La La Land or sailing on a luxury yacht on the Mediterranean. Face it, whether you're indoors or out, your "private moment" will eventually be caught up in a whirlwind of sex, lies and videotape...lest we forget poor Gwyneth and Brad Pitt?

A word of advice Burnt Sienna- 1- Stay away from married men. Just because Jude Law cheated on you doesn't mean you need to take it out on other innocent chicks. 2- Put on a bikini top like this cute one from Alloy. I don't need to see your tatas, no matter how perky they are...neither does Balthazar's wife and four kids.

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Zooey Zoolander

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Let's talk Zooey...

You know her for her quirky and always memorable roles- the rebellious sister in Almost Famous, Will Farrell's adorable paramour in Elf and Jennifer Aniston's dry, Retail Rodeo sidekick in the The Good Girl...

I know her as my fashion icon.

No matter what frock this girl throws on, she looks effortlessly fab, like the girl in high school you so wanted to dress like, but whenever you tried you ended up looking like Paula Abdul.

Whether it's an evening gown, or a twenties style swimsuit, my girl always succeeds in rocking it out of the ballpark.

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She's on the cover of Lucky magazine this month promoting her new film M Night Shyamalan's The Happening, and talking up a few of her favorite things. If I had to guess a few of Zooey's faves I'd go with a Suspenders Mini, Steve Madden Casita pumps, a jar of Organic Hair Treatment to keep those bangs bangin', and a perfectly pleasant Old School tee.

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I know you so well Zoe.

Nicole Ritchie and her Baby Daddy Joel Madden may be busy playing jokes on the tabloids regarding their upcoming nuptials, but I could care less about whether they decide or decline to tie the knot. All I care about is raiding Nicole's closet.

Why is Nicole dancing on the ceiling with reckless abandon the way Dad Lionel did back in 1986? Because ever since she got pregnant with now five-month old baby Harlow, Nicole has been looking better than ever. With a healthier figure and the best new mommy style I've seen in years, motherhood seems to agree with our little socialite. Hopefully she'll keep the meat on her bones and hang on to all the cool new clothes, for Harlow's sake.

If you're digging her post pardum fashions, here are some tips from FabSugar to capture Nicole's chic summer style.

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Kirsten Dunst isn't letting her blondie burdens get her down, she is now the new face of Miu Miu's Spring/Summer 2008 ad campaign and is looking pretty fab showing off their sleek specs and bottomless handbags.

She's had a tough few years what with being booed at Cannes for her portrayal of teenage royal Marie Antoinette and checking herself into Cirque Lodge in Utah for some long needed rehab following in the footsteps of fellow former teen queens Mary-Kate Olsen, Selma Blair, and Lindsay Lo.

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Don't sweat it Kiki, It's a Hollywood it girl rite of passage. Now you can say "Been there, done that, got my chip, back the hell off". She seems to be healing well all else considering, showing off her new mani in Uma Thurman Pulp Fiction fashion..although she is looking a weensy bit pale and goth for my taste. Revisiting her vampire child Interview with a Vampire days no doubt...back when we all thought Tom Cruise was straight. Ahhh the memories. Work those jazz hands Kirsten...

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Keepin' up with Kirsten,

sammy

Lindsay Betty.

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It's been confirmed. Set your Tivos for May 22nd because the mistress of mayhem Lindsay Lohan is signed on to appear on the ABC hit prime time show Ugly Betty for six episodes as a blast from Betty Suarez's Mean Girl past. This isn't Lindsay's first foray onto the small screen, she made a few choice appearances on that 70's show way back when she had the fever for the flavor of Fez played by ex boytoy Wilmer Valderrama.

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Contrary to popular belief, it's been reported that Lindsay was an absolute delight to work with on the Ugly Betty set. She only kneed a Production Assistant in the groin once while she was there (for getting her a regular Red Bull instead of sugar free), and only kept the director and crew waiting for an average of 7 hours rather than her usual 33.

It's a step in the right direction. Linds has been lost for awhile, and is slowly but surely getting her life back on track one sober day at a time. Hopefully hanging with the Suarez family on the Betty set will be just the good, wholesome family influence she needs. I wouldn't be surprised if by the end of the year she makes a complete 180 and ends up trading in her Gucci duds for Betty's Guadalajara poncho. It would still be a better choice than I Know Who Killed Me.

*Keepin' it pretty,

sammy

Mad Hat-ter.

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Okay. I've already clued you in on my position on hats...so you can probably understand my aversion to the Kentucky Derby fashions that came out to play this past weekend. Glory, glory hallelujah. The hats were larger than life. I'm talking big. Bigger than Colin Farrel's alcohol intake big. Wide-brimmed, feather-festooned, flower-adorned...you name it, they were covering celebrity heads.

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I believe this tradition began somewhere during the last two centuries, and I'm betting it's all one mint julep sipping old lady's fault. I can just picture Miss Betty Jo Sue deciding to wear her big ass hat in response to a bad hair day, and thus...the Derby became a hatfest rather that a horsefest. While the gals make their heady statements, the guys are all decked out in dapper suits, exuding charm and true Southern Comfort. Personally I think the boys should start wearing giant clown shoes to compensate for their partners ribboned, feathered, plumed monstrosities. You know what they say about men with big feet.
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I find it interesting that the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland has more fashion sense than Heidi Montag from the Hills. At least he knows to opt for only one big accessory at a time. Lose the watch Heidi.

*Keepin' it at the races,

sammy

Jock Itch.

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Once upon a time...in a Hollywood far, far away, the princesses of Tinseltown found their Prince Charmings in the forms of sleazy, tatted, not-so-pretty rockstars. Times have changed in La La Land, and now there's a new Prince Charming on the horizon, seducing fairy princess supermodels, it girls, and pop stars alike...The athlete.

Gisele Bündchen had another idea of Fantasy Football in mind when she traded Leonardo DiCaprio in for New England quarterback Tom Brady, even though he already had a bünd in the oven with actress Bridget Moynahan, (oooh scandalous). Eva Longoria shot and scored and is now desperate housewife to San Antonio Spurs point guard Tony Parker while Hilary Duff said goodbye to Good Charlotte frontman Joel Madden and hello to Mike Comrie. Apparently she's been spotted skating around town with the NY Islanders center and could care less her ex just had a baby with Nicole Ritchie...(Good form Hilary, someone get that girl a hat trick). Lest I forget our little tunafish challenged Jessica Simpson...It's a lot warmer than 98 degrees with Dallas CowboyTony Romo who thinks both Nick Lachey and John Mayer made huge fumbles in dumping a girl whose body is like, a total wonderland.


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This trend all makes perfect sense really, reverting back to high school days when the jocks got the cheerleaders, the homecoming queens, dance line captains...the Mean Girls personified. The cheerleaders never went for the dark, poetic, ratty looking musicians who spent all year prepping for the Battle of the Bands back then...they went for the testosterone fueled, muscled dudes who could crash a beer can on their head without flinching.

Personally, I think it's easier to date an athlete over a musician any day. Musicians are too sensitive. They break their guitars on stage and then cry about you hurting their feelings. Athletes are easier than a game of kindergarten kickball. As long as you feed them lots of Chunky soup and have tons of Icy Hot on hand, you're good to go.

It's all a matter of taste, but I have a feeling this star athlete hookup trend is going to last awhile. Don't be surprised if Jessica Biel dumps Justin Timberlake's ass because her ex Derek Jeter is bringing sexy back...

...and they all lived happily ever after.

*Keepin' score,

sammy

It's getting warmer outside, and you know what that means...out with the cute multicolored tights and in with the self-tanner. It's barely Spring and you're already catching glimpses of stars baring all, and not just on their celebrity sex tapes.

Take Jessica Simpson and her archrival Vanessa Minnillo wearing what can only be described as some itsy bitsy teenie weenie denim faded-wash shortkinis. Those shorts are short. Seriously. It makes me wonder if Vanessa and Jess are in the middle of some kind of bizarre Short Off competition, like the infamous Dance Offs we hear about involving Britney, Justin, and all the other mouseketeers turned celebrities.

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I myself would never dare wear shorts that short. 1- I don't use Nair, and 2 - I wouldn't be able to shake the feeling I was in public wearing really stiff, uncomfortable panties. To take the Daisy Duke debate a step further, I wonder...are Vanessa and Jessica battling it out for media attention? For Nick's attention?...Each other's attention? I'm probably speculating too much. Maybe they just had a really good sale at Gap Kids. Whatever the reason, I'm guessing the showdown is just beginning.

It's already been broughten.

*Keepin' it covered,

sammy

Let's get something straight. I don't watch Dancing with the Stars for the dancing. I don't watch it for the sequined costumes that look like a bedazzler threw up on them. I don't watch it to see the chicks from Hairspray and American Pie respectively shake their tatas. I don't watch it to mourn the loss of what was once Priscilla Presley's face.

I watch it for Jason Taylor.

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The Miami Dolphins heartthrob is just as comfortable on the dance floor as he is on the 50 yard line and tonight, he rhumbaed just a little bit deeper into my heart. Looking very Ralph Lauren chic in a cream sweater and khaki slacks, he seduced me and every other hot-blooded woman in the country...and some men.

It was Samba and Rhumba night and in case you missed it, here's a full rundown: Mario, aka Poopie (don't ask) sold the hips but not the footwork, Priscilla missed a turn, and a Botox treatment, Marissa shook her tush and her big hair, Christián was competent, Marlee missed some beats, Kristi let her hair down and was one point shy of getting the gold, Shannon's hotness couldn't mask her awkwardness, and Jason was...ahhhh....everything a Jason should be.

Quin es mas macho? Christián De La Fuente O Jason Taylor?

Do I even need to answer? Be still mi corazon.

*Keepin' it real.

sammy

The Bag ate my Posh.

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Want me to tell you what I want, what I really really want?
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want...

I really want to understand this new Marc Jacobs Spring/Summer ad campaign.

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This has been a hot topic amongst fashion bloggers everywhere, so I figured I should jump on the Beckham Bandwagon. Yes, for those of you who don't already know, that is in essence, Victoria Beckham spread eagle in a shopping bag. Thank goodness there are no accompanying aerial views advertising Vic's biznass. Usually I adore photographer Juergen Teller's artistically fab Jacobs ads featuring the likes Sofia Coppola, our favorite shoplifter Winona Ryder, and even tween sensation Dakota Fanning looking like a prepubescent silent film star. But this? I just don't get. Am I supposed to shop at Marc Jacobs because their shopping bags eat oversaturated, semi-talented nineties girl-band members-slash-style icons? Or am I supposed to shop there because they sell Poshes with little propellers on their heads?

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How much would a Marc Jacob's Posh be anyway? I'm guessing pricey. The whole thing just leaves a bad spice in my mouth. Unless David is tucked into that bag next to her...then I might have to take out a second mortgage and buy one.

I love you Marc Jacobs. I love your clothes no matter what celebrity is endorsing them. I love me some big ass bottles of your gardenia scented perfumes, your signature metal aviators, your Fergalicious handbags, and anything else you put your name on. Do me a favor, bring your campaign to another advertising agency and let the Posh out of the bag.

*Keepin' it real.

sammy

Shayne Lamas, daughter of Renegade Lorenzo Lamas had an interesting quote on the newest installment of The Bachelor. (Disclaimer- I don't watch The Bachelor, I accidentally left the flat screen on after Samantha Who?) So Shayne revealed to her Bachelor rather nonchalantly that her top priorities fell in this order: cars, shoes, handbags, sunglasses and watches.
"I think if you have all those five, it doesn't matter what you're wearing on your body."

Shallow Shayne? Yes. True to some extent, at least by Hollywood standards? You'd better believe it. I myself am not big on cars and I use my cell phone for a watch, but I must confess...I do love my shoes, sunglasses, and handbags. So sue me.

Sunglasses, for one, are a celebrity staple. They provide an air of mystery, shielding from harmful UV rays, and paparazzi protection when you've partied too hard the night before. Sometimes the stars get it wrong, sometimes it's oh so right. Thanks Nicole.

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So if you wanna be a celeb or just look like one, get yourself some primo specs and you'll be made in the shade. I've been eyeing these Gucci sunglasses for awhile. They're 40% off, rockstar chic, and they would look so much better on my face than that bald dummy head. No offense bald dummy head.

And Shayne, I'd love to see you try and find a car/shoe/handbag/watch/ or pair of sunglasses that could help make this look mahvelous.

*Keepin' it real.

sammy

Forget NY, I heart LC.

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I don’t care what anyone says, I dig LC. No matter if she’s wrong or right, I will always be a proud member of Team Lauren. She’s like the little sister I never had, but pretended my Cabbage Patch Kid was.

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While her arch rival Heidi Montag resorts to stunt after pathetic stunt to boost her reality star status, LC is sticking to the same goals and dreams she had when she was a little itty bitty Laguna Beach baby making Barbie clothes on her kiddie sewing machine. She is using her celebreality to further her career and make a name for herself other than star of those Mtv tween soap operas".

Her new collection is California chic, youthful, and classy. Just like our girl. Tell me this dress isn’t adorable…C’mon, I dare ya. Apparently she's getting her tuition's worth at LA’s Fashion Institute of Design, the girl's got mad design skills and is staying true to her style while Heidi...well, Heidi has new boobs.

So keep on cutting demos and hacking off body parts Montag, by the time you're done Lauren will have her degree and will be well on her way to becoming the next Stella McCartney and you'll be this chick. Don't even get me started on Spencer.

*Keepin' it real.

sammy

For Pete's Sake.

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It’s official, Jessica’s li’l sis Ashlee Simpson is all grown up and engaged to Fall out Boy rocker Pete Wentz! This news makes me wanna La La! I haven’t been this happy since Hasbro re-released My Little Pony! Congratulations guys!

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I can’t help but wonder though, when Ashlee is standing there at the altar, staring into Pete’s eyes rimmed with charcoal guyliner, and the Officiant beckons her to say those two magic words…will our girl Ashlee whisper “I do”?…Or will a pre-recorded track come blaring through the church soundsystem accepting Pete as her husband ‘til death do they part? And if that did happen, would Ashlee do a hoedown on her escape from embarrassment down the aisle? Would Jess’s boytoy Dallas Cowboy Tony Romo step in and tackle the runaway bride to keep her from getting past the end zone?

Now I’m really stressed.

Do Pete a favor Ash, take good care of the pipes and all the pieces, the pieces, the pieces of you. Be proactive and take some Prevacid or Pepcid AC so you don’t get acid reflux on your wedding day…that would suck.

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Pete with a new nose that matches Ashlee’s.

*Keepin’ it real.

sammy

Baby Papas are every bit as influential as Baby Mamas, so I won’t leave them out in the cold clutching their manly Puffy Combs designer diaper bags. As previously mentioned, Suri may have inherited her mommy’s bangs and delicate bone structure, but she also scored daddy’s 100 watt winning smile, and she’s been witnessed jumping around like a maniac on Oprah’s sofa… that is, when she’s not distributing Scientology pamphlets on Hollywood Boulevard.

Maddox Jolie-Pitt has started his own Fight Club with li’l bro Pax. The only rule of Fight Club- you don’t have time-outs in Fight Club. Ben Affleck and Matt Damon’s hip daughter duo Violet and Isabella have teamed up to pen their first screenplay together. Good Will Burping is expected to hit the festival circuit early next year. I don’t know about you, but I smell an Oscar...or was that baby gas?

baron trump.jpg

And now for a not- so-positive celebrity papa following. Has anyone seen the hair on Donald Trump’s son’s head? What’s up with that Baron? I appreciate the act of combover solidarity, but that just ain’t cool Melania. This boy’s got money, get him a fauxhawk or dreds like the kid from American Idol. Hey, I wouldn’t even mind a mullet. I recommend that kid’s hairstylist be fired.

*Keepin’ it real.

sammy

Jennifer Love Hewitt, the Star of the CBS Friday night hit, Ghost Whisperer, is engaged! She and long time beau, Scottish actor Ross McCall of HBO’s 2001 Band of Brother’s fame, got engaged last week. Congrats Jen!


The Happy Couple

I must also congratulate “Love,” as she's affectionately known, on speaking out against the scrutiny that women’s bodies are subjected to in Hollywood and in society generally. Recent photos of a bikini clad Jen and her fiancée were snapped in Hawaii ( I'm have not included the pics because I refuse to buy into the BS), along with some extremely unflattering comments about her body…and she is a size 2 (not that it matters what damn size U are!). That’s just outrageous and Jen is very LOUDLY saying so on her blog. "Like all women out there should, I love my body," Hewitt, 28, wrote. She adds, "A size 2 is not fat! Nor will it ever be. And being a size 0 doesn't make you beautiful. … To all girls with butts, boobs, hips and a waist, put on a bikini – put it on and stay strong."

HEALTHY, SEXY & CONFIDENT!

~ AMEN JEN!

Samara Sanchez

About Sammy

Sammy Sanchez is a Miami based freelance writer, greeting card designer, and self-professed USWeeklyholic. Sammy loves tall coffee light frappuccinos, vino not from a box, and Mark Ruffalo...not necessarily in that order.
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