The big question on everyone's mind besides "Does that dude coughing next to me have swine flu?" is "Are Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan still broken up"?

This is a fashion blog and I'm not creative enough to spin a style blog around swine, so Lindsay breakup it is.

If you haven't heard the tweets, the dynamic lesbian duo had a huge powwow at the Chateau Marmont earlier this month and were declared totally over by DJ Sam Ronson (twin sis of one of my favorite designers Charlotte Ronson) via Twitter. No one really knows what happened that dark fateful night, but locksmiths were called, restraining orders summoned and hair colorist appointments made and it seemed the one-time inseparable pair were dunzo.

But new reports claim that Sam and Lindsay may still be an item thanks to secret meetings and late night sleepovers at Lilo's pad. Not to mention the fact that Sam changed her Facebook status from "Single" to "It's Complicated".

What more evidence do we need?

I once noticed that Lindsay was a lot less fun as a lesbian, but she is totally fun when she's breaking up with a lesbian.

Let me preface this blog by saying that I have nothing against lesbians... Hey, I love lesbians! Not in a biblical sense. I love dudes more, but I think lesbians are usually the coolest chicks on the block and am totally looking forward to Season 6 of the L Word. I even have my Tivo set to catch the premiere and all that lesbo loving action on Showtime January 18th.

I've simply noticed that since Lindsay Lohan began her romantic relationship with DJ extraordinaire Samantha Ronson, she's become rather, I don't know...boring.

Whatever happened to crazy Lindsay? The one who wrecked cars, racked up DUIs, tossed back shots like they were vials of Smart Water, and showed up late on the sets of her films all hungover and bedraggled? Lately Lindsay's been wearing her panties, covering up her Herbies Fully Loaded, and has been maintaining a lower than low profile. The girl who used to love color, leather, minis and bold fashion statements has now settled for a drably neutral color palette consisting of a wardrobe filled with gray tees, jeans and other safe, androgynous staples.

Who is the Grinch who stole Lindsay's heterosexuality?

Was it playground love Aaron Carter who dumped her for Hilary Duff's stuff? Could it have been our favorite exchange student from That Seventies Show Wilmer Valderamma who did the deed? Or maybe it was rehab rebound Tony Allen who pounced on our vulnerable Lindsay. The Lindsay Ex list goes on and on and on making it nearly impossible to pin down one culprit. Who knows, maybe it was Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" song that threw her over the edge.

All I know is that the Grinch who stole Lindsay's love of boys also seems to have stolen her love of fashion and drama.

This New Year Lindsay, I say make one resolution - get into some trouble.

USWeekly misses you and your bad girl self...as do I.

It's been confirmed. Set your Tivos for May 22nd because the mistress of mayhem Lindsay Lohan is signed on to appear on the ABC hit prime time show Ugly Betty for six episodes as a blast from Betty Suarez's Mean Girl past. This isn't Lindsay's first foray onto the small screen, she made a few choice appearances on that 70's show way back when she had the fever for the flavor of Fez played by ex boytoy Wilmer Valderrama.

Contrary to popular belief, it's been reported that Lindsay was an absolute delight to work with on the Ugly Betty set. She only kneed a Production Assistant in the groin once while she was there (for getting her a regular Red Bull instead of sugar free), and only kept the director and crew waiting for an average of 7 hours rather than her usual 33.

It's a step in the right direction. Linds has been lost for awhile, and is slowly but surely getting her life back on track one sober day at a time. Hopefully hanging with the Suarez family on the Betty set will be just the good, wholesome family influence she needs. I wouldn't be surprised if by the end of the year she makes a complete 180 and ends up trading in her Gucci duds for Betty's Guadalajara poncho. It would still be a better choice than I Know Who Killed Me.

*Keepin' it pretty,

sammy

We interrupt this blog to bring you an important trend alert. You shouldn't panic, nor should you rest easy. This is an orange alert. Stay where you are as we continue to bring you up-to-date information on whether this trend poses an imminent threat to the homeland.

Reportedly seen on twenty/thirty something girls everywhere, insiders report that it is now cool to tie ribbons around your head like a Pochahontas flower power love child.

Spotted on subjects Lindsay Lohan, Molly Sims, Stefanie Pratt of The Hills, the girls in the Urban Outfitters catalog, and that weird Amis girl who got booted off America's Next Top Model.

The Hair band Security Advisory System urges us to continue to be vigilant, take notice of our surroundings, and report suspicious hair band activity to local authorities immediately. Establish an emergency preparedness kit and emergency plan for yourself and for your family should you find yourself or a loved one contemplating tying one on, succumbing to the madness.

Do not fret. I repeat, do not fret. We shall get through this together, as fashion conscious Americans. Let us crown thy good with brotherhood (instead of hair bands) from sea to shining sea. If we survived bell bottoms, shoulder pads, and Lara Flynn Boyle's fashion faux pas...we can get through anything.

*Keepin' you orange alerted,

sammy