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Model posing 101 Archives
Can I get some complex carbs with that shake?
I can bring a horse to water, but you can't force me to eat.
She was all that, and a bag of low-fat chips.
Her favorite body part were her thighs, they were totally ripped.
She didn't know what they were selling, but it sounded seedy.
Everybody's Not Working For the Weekend.
The real slim shady.
Like, really slim.
Hope you have a hair raising experience this Valentine's Day.♥
They airbrushed all my tats.
Her fridays were beyond casual.
My hair does not define me. My cheekbones do.
She considered eating lunch but was on the fence about it.
I regift all of the free swag I get from Fashion Week.
Need a ride to the airport? Yeah, good luck with that.
I will work for no food.
Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas is a faster metabolism.
She liked her men the way she liked her caramel brulée lattes, whipped.
Sometimes models simply prefer to do their crunches standing up.
Halloween. The only day of the year when it is actually okay for a model to resemble a skeleton.
Happy All Hallow's Eve, from Let's Talk Style*
She would never have a healthy relationship until she dealt with all her baggage.
No, I like didn't watch the Presidential debate because I only have time to vote for contestants on reality shows.
And here are all the books I've never wanted to read.
Simons says put your right arm on top of your head and look ridiculous.
"Hello Room Service? I'd like to order a BLT. Hold the bun, B&T"
Hello. My name is Joy, and I'm an accessory-aholic.
Hello, Joy.
I'm Good Enough, I'm Hot Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me.
Model #1: When's lunchtime?
Model #2: Next Tuesday.
This election she was advocating a woman's right to shoes.
I had two ribs removed, and now my wedding dress fits just fine!
Cross her legs, hope to die, stick a needle in her eye.
Models have receding hairlines, just like us!
Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim is over and all I got were these lousy goggles.
She just knew she had forgotten something...
Oh yeah, to eat.
She suddenly realized her bangs were in desperate need of a trim.
I never would have chosen this tacky wallpaper.
I can't believe that's not Diet.
She loved the sand, hated sandwiches.
Sometimes models need to take a dump in the woods, just like us!
Baby got netted back.
I'm like, not as hungry as I look.
Uh, hello. Like, where's the cursor?
Models drink on the job, just like us!
I'm getting a tax refund!
How models play Hide and Seek.
Sometimes even top models get put in time out.
She had a face that launched a thousand tampon ads.
This model pose has been brought to you by the number 4.
OMG, I have cankles!
I'm smarter than I look. Oh, model snap.
If a model eats in public and no one is around to see it, will she gain a pound?
I haven't washed my hair since 2011!
Thank God it's Fat-Free.
Like her men, she preferred her tea loose.
I'm going where all of my New Year's Resolutions went last year.
Hey, like, what do you mean there's no Santa?
I don't wear glasses, but holding them makes me look smarter in photos.
Her jump rope idea didn't work.
Sometimes models chew on their sweaters to curb cravings in between no meals.
Models get really annoyed when they're brought sugar instead of Splenda.
At ease, soldiers.
Happy Veteran's Day to our brave American heroes, past and present.
xoxo,
sammy
She knew she'd get a good shot, come what macramé.
She couldn't decided whether to "Trick" or "Eat".
All they wanted was to live fur the moment.
Model who moonlights as a magician's assistant.
A good model always finds time for lunges.
Her hair was so big, she bullied it rather than tease it.
Nicki Minaj: Yo Anna, do you like my neon pom pom puff balls?
Vogue Editor at Large Anna Wintour: No darling, I am not a fan of balls in general.
I am genetically blessed. That, and I only eat air.
Blonde models have more fun.
Brunette models have more fun making fun of blonde models.
The model misunderstood when her agent advised her to get back to her roots.
She found people of average height annoying.
She finally realized what the voices in her head were telling her.
To eat.
The model took it literally when the photographer told her she would be paid under the table.
No officer, I don't have my license and registration... but I do have my measurements and a GED.
Celebrate your Beyoncependence this 4th of July.
She didn't understand the painting, that and long division.
She couldn't wait to update her Facebook status from "It's Complicated" to "In a Relationship" with food.
Model completely unphased by the case of crabs in her shorts.
Model coming to the realization that she didn't really need that 537th necklace.
This model discovered a brilliant way to conceal the fact that she's a cyclops.
I don't celebrate Cinco de Mayo because five servings of mayo is like, totally fattening.
White Models Can't Jump.
Do these horizontal stripes make us look fat?
Her entire outfit cost $19.95, plus tax.
April Fool's.
Say fromage!
Models only eat donuts if they're supersized.
Model attempting to be truly, truly, truly outrageous.
Would someone please tell this model that this is not the way you use an outhouse.
Don't take it personally.
Katie Holmes's New Year's Resolutions
1. Dress better than Suri.
2. Remember to tuck shirts in all the way.
3. Leave the Church of Scientology.
4. Leave Tom Cruise for Josh Duhamel.
It was a tie between this caption and
"Sleigh bells bling,
are you piercing?"
Happy Holidays to you and yours, from Let's Talk Style.
Happy Thanksgiving, from Let's Talk Style.
Model masking a wicked hickey, most likely given to her by Charlie Sheen.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
Happy Halloween, from Let's Talk Style.
Now go eat something.
she sees a shrink in her future.
I'm thinking of getting a haircut this weekend and am debating whether or not to depart from my signature style cut.
This is a big step for me. Me and my bangs go back a long way. We played in the sandbox together at age 3 and collected Strawberry Shortcake and Cabbage Patch Kid dolls up until the fifth grade. We parted ways, literally, for most of my middle school years with my fringe making brief appearances here and there throughout high school, but we weren't in a fully committed relationship.
Then my bangs and I rediscovered one another (I think on Friendster), and now we have been inseparable for the past five or so years, through the good hair days and the bad hair days.
I would like to try something new, but I feel locked in.
If any of my readers out there have a preference, let me know, but please don't suggest the Rachel, dreds, a mullet, fro or beehive. That's not Sammy's style.
New Moon, the 2nd installment of the Twilight saga opens tonight and everyone seems to be all vamped up, especially since True Blood is on hiatus.
If your boyfriend bites, pick up your own Wildfox Couture Tee from chickdowntown for $64.
Some models just can't hold their liquor...
Fashion Week is over and a startling number of models are out of work until Fall Fashion Week in February of 2011, so don't be surprised if you see a swarm of skinny girls panhandling on the side of the road.
Make a charitable donation by giving them a dollar, a piece of organic produce or some lip gloss.
The things you see on the streets of New York...
I received a fun email forward this morning containing a batch of clever demotivational posters, so I decided to craft my very own for today's Model Pose because 1). it's Friday, and 2.) we could all use a little demotivation.
One of the many things I learned during Miami's Swim Fashion Week is that models have guts, just like us.
They may be teenie weenie mini guts, the size of a mini stack of silver dollar pancakes, but they're there and sometimes they need some help sucking it in.
Years ago, on those rare days when I would wake up carrying a food baby from the overindulgent evening before, I would slip on a pair of ratty pantyhose with the legs cut off. Then, lo and behold, Spanx were created! But as much as I love my Spanx, I would never want my boyfriend to see me in them. Flesh colored scuba shapers aren't really much of a turn on, are they ladies?
I recently discovered this secret little lingerie/shapewear line that I've fallen in love with. It's called Du Mi, and it does me right.
Du Mi is an organic cotton Italian made lingerie line that doubles incognito as high impact shapewear. Referred to in the fashion biz as the “Skinny Girls Secret”, Du Mi panties, camis, tanks and thigh shapers look prettier than anything in a blushing bride's trousseau, while smoothing shapes and sculpting away. Wherever you need a lift, Du Mi has you covered with cheeky boy briefs, tummy control thongs and total body sculpting boy shorts and bra tanks that conceal every flaw.
Finally, shapewear styles that transcend your average granny girdle style shapewear garments. Disguised as sexy lingerie in shades of taupe, black and leopard prints, Du Mi appears to be designed more for play than work, but oh how they work. The fabrics are soft, luxurious, lightweight and gift women with gorgeous silhouettes whether they're wearing low-rise jeans, high-waisted skirts, or any other flirty and fitted looks in their wardrobes. Who knew shapewear could be good for the environment, feel comfy, hold it all in, and look sexy as all get out?
I'm loving this line so much, it makes me want to break out in song...
Du Re Mi Fa So La Ti Do!
Today is Friday, and I simply cannot allow the Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim frenzy to get in the way of my weekly model pose. Keeping in the spirit of Fashion Week, I'd like to point out that after two days of shows I have yet to see a model fall. Way to go girls!
I've used this Model Pose before, but it's so patriotic, I thought it deserved a new caption.
Save me a piece of pie and Happy 4th!
Memorial Day weekend is coming up, and this model wasn't prepared. She forgot all of the major items on her beach checklist including SPF Sunscreen, swim goggles, pail and shovel and uhh...her bikini top. She does get points for toting a hot beach towel featuring a hippie chick with wicked dreds though.
Dry off your bits and pieces after a dip in the ocean while accessorizing your perfect beach ensemble with stylish beach towels that say "Yeah, I'm cool enough for you to sweat on me."
If you like the towel shielding the model's boobies above, you're in luck. You can score this exclusive Lauren Moshi Beach Towel from Bloomingdales for free now through Monday when you spend 200 smackers or more on any Y.E.S. Contemporary Sportswear purchase.
And if you hate tanlines, Cool Tan Swimwear has some righteous tan through bikinis that allow you to tan as if you were topless, only you won't get arrested like Boobie Flash Gordon up there.
I have this picture of me when I was three, bundled up in an Eskimo coat smiling like a crazy kid with my baby teeth chattering, a toddler Nanook of the North if you will. I often wonder if that fur circling my face was real or faux. If that fur had been real, would my three year old self be doused with red paint today by extreme animal rights activists?
I'm guessing it wasn't real. Why would Mom waste money on a real fur lined coat for a three year old girl who would ever so stylishly grow out of it in a month or two? Not to mention all the snot I'd probably get on it.
As the weather continues to cool, loads and loads of fur coats are coming out to brave the harsh winter and the even harsher folks from the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals organization, better known as PETA.
Fur coats used to serve as symbols of status and decadence in days of old. There was no better way to show off and tell your neighbors "Hey, I'm so rich I wear animals". Then it was diamonds and furs, today it's sunglasses, shoes and handbags that relay images of wealth. Interesting how times have changed, although diamonds are still pretty schnazzy.
Personally, I don't get the real fur thing. Besides adding lots of bulk, why would you want to wear the fur of a helpless creature when there are just as many amazing faux fur designs that feel and look just as luxurious? If you don't believe me, check out Fabulous-Furs- the authorities on guilt free fur. You'll be bound to find a cool fur accented piece of outerwear, fur sure.
Before I get any comments requesting I post that three year old Eskimo photo, don't bother.
It ain't happening.
Three little models jumping on the bed
One fell off and broke her head.
The agent called the doctor and the doctor said:
"That's what you get for jumping on the bed", then...
"Wow, you're hot.
What the models had to say...
With a country amidst the biggest financial crisis since the Great Depression, it seems fiscally irresponsible to spend a gross amount of money on an accessory... but that still doesn't change the fact that if I won the lottery, I'd loosen the purse strings and buy this Coach Mirrored Julianne Bag for $1,100.
Call it an eleven hundred dollar bailout.
Monday was the first official day of Autumn, and it's time to start dusting off those old sweaters you packed away last Spring. That is if you live someplace other than Miami. I'm still wearing a bikini top to work.
Treat yourself to a sweater spree and choose from a warm, fuzzy stock of sweater dresses, cardigans, cowl necks and argyles just waiting to keep you snug.
Just stay out of Heathcliff Huxtable's closet...unless you're looking for a Jello Pudding Pop.
A reader suggested I make this an ongoing feature...
I am all too willing to oblige.
About Sammy
Sammy Sanchez is a Miami based freelance writer, greeting card designer, and self-professed USWeeklyholic. Sammy loves tall coffee light frappuccinos, vino not from a box, and Mark Ruffalo...not necessarily in that order.
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