Stylista? Oh pleas-ah.

The finale is over and Leanne Marshall was named the winner of our favorite guilty pleasure- Project Runway. Before you put your pin cushions back in your sewing baskets and start feeling the pangs of Heidi Klum & Tim Gunn withdrawal, there's a new fashion-themed reality knockoff to sink your sewing needles into.

Stylista is a new reality based fashion-fest trailing a rather awkward group of 11 desperate, young and sometimes clueless fashionistas as they vie for the coveted position of assistant to Anne Slowey, fashion news director of Elle magazine.

Episode two aired last night, but based on the premiere alone this stylista isn't very interested. As is the formula with most reality show competitions, casting directors make it a priority to assemble a group of contestants who will clash more than paisley and plaid. You have your token Underdog, the Egomaniac, the Sexpot, the Panic Attacked and an entire crew of familiar stock characters. Some are sweet, some are stacked and most think they're Coco Chanel. They're not.

My advice to Ms. Slowey? Drop these fashion wannabes, and hire me instead. I keep my boobs concealed and my anxiety levels under control. I'm cute, obedient, and I've got moxy. Elle needs a girl with moxy...Just ask Nina Garcia.

To the remaining ten stylistas, sorry guys...it's just business. Intern with Ralph Lauren for a few years and then we'll talk.

Like Heidi says, auf Wiedersehen.

Posted by Samara at 09:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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If you haven't caught the first few episodes of the much anticipated 90210 spinoff, relax. The show is getting press alright, but not because it's groundbreaking television.

Entertainment, gossip, and fashion rags alike are all headlining stories highlighting the 90210 Skinny Girls in all their flesh and bones glory...stress on the bones rather than flesh.

Shown here on the cover of Nylon magazine, these Skinny Minnies are being compared to their 90210 foremothers- Jennie Garth, Shannen Doherty and Tori Spelling, who were considered skinny back in the 90's, but times have changed. The old 90210'ers had some twenty to thirty pounds on this new crop of California girls. Jennie Garth and Shannen Doherty have both reprised their roles as the legendary Kelly Taylor and Brenda Walsh respectively, and have given these young'uns a run for their money. They may not be teenagers any more, but they look Beverly Hill-icious with sexy curves, insulation and health on their side.

Sadly for the new class of West Beverly, scale readings and weight estimates are being flashed left and right. Personally, I'm tired of seeing these numbers thrown around for shock value. I could care less what the scale reads, you can tell by just taking a look at these girls and their gangly arms that there is a problem, a problem that has apparently escalated to the point where the 90210 Studs are planning to step in and stage an intervention. I'd love to see their strategy. Cheeseburgers in one hand, Gucci bags in the other.

My advice for these Beverly Hills babies? Stop guzzling Red Bulls and maxing out your credit cards on Rodeo Drive and head to the Valley. Not the Los Angeles Valley, head to Valley Naturals and pick up some Weight Gain powder.

Pronto.

Posted by Samara at 09:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Project Runway is back.

Bravo's Emmy nominated series Project Runway is back for another season with another crop of 16 budding designers hungry to be "in", at least in Heidi Klum, Tim Gunn, Michael Kors, and Nina Garcia's eyes. I was more excited than a seamstress in a fabric store to revel in another fierce season of cutting, draping, and stitching to the finish...but after last night's episode, my evaluation is just...well, sew-sew.

The first challenge brought the designers full circle as they tackled the first challenge ever on Project Runway season one, the grocery store showdown. To add to the nostalgia, Tim Gunn was joined by season one contestant- an airbrushed Austin Scarlett who won the challenge way back when with a corn husk concoction that ultimately launched his career. It was nice to see an old familiar face, albeit one plastered in makeup. He looked like a cross between Clark Gable and a young Joan Rivers.

Innovation was the name of the game. Most went the tablecloth route, others went the unexpected material route, few went the edible route. My favorites? A meringue cookie and candy dress that I dreamed of wearing during my days of playing Candyland. To sum up the fusilli pasta/oven mitt Italian themed dress? Two words - que bella. The tiered paper towel lipstick design was adorably kissable, and the yellow flyswatter dress was bugged out ingenious. Lowest marks, I agree with the judges- pink scully cap boy Blayne's Girlicious design was more like Pukelicious, even a six year old girl at her tap recital couldn't pull it off. Ultimately, it came down to Trashy vs. Psycho. I knew Trash bag girl wasn't going anywhere because in reality television, whoever declares "I'm going home", never goes home. It was Psycho shower curtain/yellow rubber glove dude who heard Heidi's fateful "Auf wiedersehen" and left with his model...no doubt to go unclog a toilet somewhere. If you missed the show, check out all the designs and rate your own favorites here (and if you thought the shower curtain ensemble was the bomb, I dare you to wear it outside...when it's not raining).

It will take me too long so sum up first impressions of all 16 designers, so I'll just cherry pick the ones I think are main contenders. Kenley- I like his chick. A cross between Dita Von Teese and Betty Page with a definite signature style, a throwback to days of old while maintaining a totally modern vibe. I would wear her dress today, tomorrow, as long as my tush fit in it. Kelli- bold, blond, bad to the bone. She's reminiscent of tatted Kat of Miami Ink fame and nailed the innovation challenge with a vacuum cleaner bag design that she manipulated into a truly gorgeous print. I loved the skirt, but wasn't too crazy about the coffee filter seashell bra top, but that's just me. The judges loved her daring bravado and deemed her the one to beat. At least for now...

Stay tuned...we're just getting started.

Posted by Samara at 09:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The Joy of Sex in the City.

I would be remiss if I wrote a fashion blog and didn't comment on the Sex and the City movie I of course saw last Friday night, along with 55.7 million other cosmo guzzling women. It overtook the domestic box office and succeeded in Manolo'ing Indiana Jones out of his precious #1 spot. He used to be scared of snakes...now it's stilettos.

Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha were all back in fine form prancing around the streets of New York (LA for Samantha) in Patricia Field's delicious couture costumes. You've read enough reviews and I don't believe in spoilers, so I'm just going to give some highlights and lowlights to match Carrie's ever changing haircolor.

Highlights- Vogue photo shoots, wedding gown and fashion show galore. Trumping runway shows during Fashion week at Bryant Park? A fashion showcase taking place in Carrie's closet.

Lowlights- Carrie's Bird Veil. Not enough Stanford.

All in all if you're a fan of the series, you're gonna likey, Big time. Even my date for the evening (who was male) said he liked it better than "Fool's Gold". I know, he's a keeper.

When the final credits wrapped up I couldn't help but wonder...are we in for a Sex and the City 2, Bradshaw Boogaloo? Or will Michael Patrick King throw together a prequel, casting younger girls to play the Sex and the City sexpots in their 20's? Or maybe Carrie and Mr. Big will have a set of precocious quadruplets, all with a different haircolor...Come to think of it, the possibilities are endless.

*sex and the sammy.

Posted by Samara at 09:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Loose lips, good clothes.

It's pretty sad when a group of high school trust fund babies have a better wardrobe than you do. Watching Gossip Girl's Upper East Side socialites traipse around Manhattan in Versace and Dolce and Gabbana is enough to make me call Bravo tv's Millionaire Matchmaker for some sugardaddy prospects.

Enough about the clothes, here's the rundown...

Gossip gets put on hold while the kids prep for the SAT's. Unfortunately for Serena, a blast from the past in the form of Georgina Sparks threatens to seriously impair her math/verbal scores. Played by Michelle Trachtenberg, (former vampire slaying Buffy sis) Georgie doesn't jive with Serena's new spitting clean image and resorts to spiking her gal pal's drink so she won't be the only underaged bad girl left on Park Avenue.

Serena misses the big test, but not-so-evil stepbrother Chuck saves the day by scoring a redheaded SAT proxy for her. S closes the door on G for good and all seems well until Georgie shows up in Central Park making a play for Serena's boy Dan. The plot thickens...By the way, is it just me or did Jenny Humphrey grow two feet since they've been on hiatus?

So many designer clothes...so many they'll grow out of by summer...

*Keepin' the gossip flowing,

xoxo,

sammygirl

Posted by Samara at 03:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Over the Hills?

There aren't that many fashion-themed television shows on air, and with Project Runway on hiatus (probably because Heidi is having Seal's triplets) you're going to have to settle for a rundown of last night's episode of the Hills.

This wasn't a favorite episode of mine. The three major plot points were:

1. Heidi infiltrating LC's table at GAO Nightclub.
2. The Return of Justin Bobby.
3. The Hills girls deciding to get a house together.

1. We've seen it before...Heidi Montag's feeble attempt at hogging camera time. Wouldn't your time be better served filming another horrid beach video than sitting at a table where you're not wanted? At this point, Heidi is like herpes. She just won't go away.

2. Audrina went to dinner with her ex Justin Bobby, and he didn't burp once. Who said men don't change?

3. It's settled. Lauren, Audrina, and fellow Laguna Beach alum Lo are going to move into a house together. Read the contracts carefully girls, Heidi may already be living in the attic.

Spencer's camera time was limited thank goodness, but during the 4 minutes he was on screen I had an insatiable urge to poke him in the eyes Three Stooges style.

And these are the days of The Hills lives...

*Keepin' it real,

sammy

Posted by Samara at 10:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

And these are the days of model's lives...

Sometimes it's good to watch bad tv. You don't have to follow storylines, plot progression, or character development, and let's face it...Sometimes you just wanna watch someone get bitch slapped. America's Next Top Model is bad tv at it's best...or worst. Depending on the model's angle, and what Ms. J is wearing.

Here's a quick rundown of last night's episode. No one got bitch slapped, but someone did lose a thumb. Yowsa.

The central conflict revolved around African refugee/Iman doppleganger Fatima as she faced an international crisis. The models smelled a trip abroad in the air and Fatima hadn't updated her travel documents. Will she make it to the consulate in time? Will she miss a photo shoot in the process? Whatever is a model to do? All turned out well, but Tyra milked it more than she did in her got milk ad.

Now for the thumb. Arty redhead Lauren who has a bad walk and apparently tourettes syndrome, cut her thumb off while slicing an onion. Good thing there's not an IQ prerequisite to be cast on ANTM. You wouldn't last a day in Hell's Kitchen you donkey.

*Spoiler alert if you're saving it on tivo*

Adorable Stacy-Ann (reminiscent of Tootie from the Facts of Life ) had been flying under the radar, but got the boot for not being able to angle her big jaw properly. Sorry Stace. Personally, I think it should've been Dominique's time to go. For some reason she reminds me of the dude looks like a lady from the Crying Game.

Sorry. I guess bad tv just brings out the bitch in me.

*Keepin' my thumbs in tact,

sammy

Posted by Samara at 01:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Dancing with the Dolphin.

Let's get something straight. I don't watch Dancing with the Stars for the dancing. I don't watch it for the sequined costumes that look like a bedazzler threw up on them. I don't watch it to see the chicks from Hairspray and American Pie respectively shake their tatas. I don't watch it to mourn the loss of what was once Priscilla Presley's face.

I watch it for Jason Taylor.

The Miami Dolphins heartthrob is just as comfortable on the dance floor as he is on the 50 yard line and tonight, he rhumbaed just a little bit deeper into my heart. Looking very Ralph Lauren chic in a cream sweater and khaki slacks, he seduced me and every other hot-blooded woman in the country...and some men.

It was Samba and Rhumba night and in case you missed it, here's a full rundown: Mario, aka Poopie (don't ask) sold the hips but not the footwork, Priscilla missed a turn, and a Botox treatment, Marissa shook her tush and her big hair, Christián was competent, Marlee missed some beats, Kristi let her hair down and was one point shy of getting the gold, Shannon's hotness couldn't mask her awkwardness, and Jason was...ahhhh....everything a Jason should be.

Quin es mas macho? Christián De La Fuente O Jason Taylor?

Do I even need to answer? Be still mi corazon.

*Keepin' it real.

sammy

Posted by Samara at 10:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)