America's Next Top Model Cycle 13 Finale

Ladies and gentlemen, place your bets.

The race to the finish is on tonight, with the final episode of America's Next Top Model Cycle 13 airing on the CW.

It's come down to two petite sized models - the awkward redhead vs. the southern belle. Our first contender - Nicole (aka Big Red), the quirky girl who may not know how to carry herself in real life, but sure knows how to pose in front of a camera. Handicap: Her monotone, stoner voice that seems to irk the judges. She's placed first, week after week... let's see if she stays on track, holding her spot at the front of the herd.

Then there's a horse of another color, contestant #2 - Laura (aka Blushing Beauty), the gal hailing from the home of the Kentucky Derby who has managed to win over every judge and jockey she meets with her shining blue eyes, charming southern drawl and a smile that goes on for days. Handicap: She can't tan. Laura taking first place honors would make this cycle a true Cinderella story (or a Seabiscuit story, considering she's only 5'6). As long as she doesn't horse around during her final walk, she might just win it all.

My money is on Big Red...
but I'm betting it'll come down to a photo finish.

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Whitney Port & Kelly Cutrone Working Miami Fashion Week

If you caught the last episode of The City that aired last night on MTV, you had a chance to see Whitney Port arrive on my home turf during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim in Miami last July. Whitney and her rowdy roomie Roxy worked the Mara Hoffman show alongside Kelly Cutrone and the rest of the People's Revolution team.

To sum up the backstage drama, Roxy and Whitney got torn a new one by Kelly for fighting backstage (Roxy ditched Whit the night before at The Florida Room, so not cool). My archenemy Olivia Palermo half-assed her interview with Mara and once again proved that she has no business working amongst the elite at Elle magazine.

As for the front of the house, guess what ladies and gents. I was there. Front and center.

It's been four months since my coverage of the Mara Hoffman show, but here is a little never-before-seen-video showing just how up close and personal I was.

You saw it here first.

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Models of the Runway Challenge

If you've been following Project Runway Season 6, you've probably noticed a few minor alterations.

The Runway crew has packed their bags moving from Bravo to Lifetime, shuffling from the east coast to the west coast. Although the show's format is pretty familiar for the most part - designers are given their challenge, designers sketch, designers shop for fabric at Mood, designers sew, models walk, judges evaluate what designers have sewn - there are still a few new patterns and missing threads. Regular Runway Judge, Michael Kors, seems to be M I A more often than not and a slew of guest celebrity judges (i.e. - Lindsay Lohan, Rachel Bilson, Milla Jovovich, Rebecca Romijn and Kerry Washington) keep cropping up to throw their two cents onto the catwalk.

One delicious new improvement comes in the form of a post-show cocktail with a half-hour look at the Models of Project Runway - the gals who rock the looks that our designers make work. Now we get to see that models have feelings too - we can watch them dish about their designers, fret before eliminations, cry after eliminations and revel in seeing them bare their model claws over double stick tape.

If you're a fan of all the model drama, cast your vote in the Models of the Runway Challenge so you can choose who walks the Project runway next season.

There's still a Wild Card slot open, I'm going for the model who looks like the biggest bitch in her profile.

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The City Season 2 - More of Whitney Port's New York Stories from the City

I'm not afraid to admit, I'm a big fan of Mtv's The City. I love Whitney Port's imminent sweetness and everything she stands for just as much as I despise Olivia Palermo's toxicity and everything I imagine she makes Mtv's production assistants stand for. I've been hating on Olivia so much that I actually came close to putting gum in her hair when we came in dangerously close proximity during Miami Fashion Week.

With that said, I'm not going to let my personal differences with Olivia get in the way of relishing Whitney's adventures in the city, especially now that she's back working alongside fashion PR maven, Kelly Cutrone, who is rumored to have her own Bravo show simmering on the back burner.

As for departed cast members, Erin with the cute bangs is gone as is Whitney's Aussie ex Jay and his philandering roommate and they are swapped for new roomie Roxy, the bad girl from Whitney's past, and a blonder, peppier Erin - Elle magazine's youngest Director of Public Relations ever.

In the first two episodes, new blonder Erin and Olivia have butted heads now that Olivia is on board at Elle, and I keep finding myself yelling at the HD tv screen "Fire her", the way I would yell at some half naked chick to "Run" when some deranged maniac crawls through her bedroom window during a horror flick.

With that said, if you're interested in the fashion industry at all, this show may not be the most legit resource, but you will get a backstage view into the everyday operations at Elle (in a more accurate light than the failed Stylista), and you'll get to see Whitney's behind the scenes journey involved with expanding her own line - Whitney Eve.

In short, prepare for one City slicker of a season.

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500 Days of Summer Dresses

This summer, I had me a blast. This summer, happened so fast.

I enjoyed a hot and sunny day at the beach yesterday and have a red, itchy, already peeling back to prove it. It made me realize that my joy and my fun and my season in the sun would soon be exchanged for dead leaves on the dirty ground, pumpkin patches and Publix pilgrim salt shakers.

September 22nd officially marks the end of summer and the beginning of fall, but if you're like me - you're aching to hang onto those reckless days of summer lovin' and those delicate, breezy and effortless summer dresses.

If you're still longing for the lazy days of summer and not ready to give up your summer wardrobe just yet, check out my favorite indie film hit of the season - 500 Days of Summer.

*Warning: Before you buy your movie ticket, there's something you should know.

This is not a love story, it is a story about love.

Here's a quick Sammy summation of this charming, anti-chick flick...

Boy (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) meets girl (Zooey Deschanel).
Boy falls in love with girl.
Boy and girl take fun trips to the park, record stores and Ikea.
Girl ends up breaking boy's fragile heart.

I warned you, this wasn't a love story.

Spanning the 500 days of Tom Hansen and Summer Finn's relationship, we witness deliberately scattered scenes illustrating the dismal dissection of a love affair, and a whole lot of cute outfits.

Our quirky heartbreaker, Summer, takes us through a year and a half of adorable seasonal ensembles all in varying shades of her signature blue, from sweet summer sundresses and vintage frocks to shorts and tight combos that will get a girl through the winter, spring, summer or fall.

I'm taking a clue from Summer and stocking up on opaque and wool tights to warm up my spring and summer skirts and dresses paired with stylin' mod coats from none other than Modcloth.

This way I can still enjoy a little Summer breeze that makes me feel fine,
blowing through the jasmine in my mind.

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Project Runway is back on Lifetime

I've been sitting on pin cushions and needles waiting for my beloved Project Runway to return, and thank heavens to Heidi Klum, tonight is the night.

Tune in and watch what happens...but on a whole new station with Project Runway debuting on Lifetime, television for women (and gay men who love Delta Burke). Get ready for a three hour extravaganza featuring:

- A two-hour All Star Challenge at 8pm with 8 old runway veterans like Jeffery Sebelia sporting a mean handlebar 'stache, Uli Herzner and Sweet Pea...

- The Season 6 premiere at 10pm with 16 new designers all aching to make it work.

I think this is going to be the season of a lifetime.

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Bachelorette style

Ahhh... Lazying around during the dog days of summer in a posh LA mansion with a dream date scheduled every night, bubbly champagne by the gallon, and 30 hot guys clamoring for your attention. Most girls would envy the sweet set-up of current Bachelorette, Canadian cutie Jillian Harris, but after the past few episodes, Jill has had all of America wondering if host Chris Harrison was slipping her some crack before every rose ceremony.

Thankfully last Monday, millions of viewers tuned in to finally watch Jillian give the cowboy boot to super shady suitor/country wannabe superstar Wes. The baddest boy in Bachelorette history was rumored to have a girlfriend and was even outed to Jillian by Jake the pilot, although the woman in question - his ex Laurel swears it isn't so.

Regardless of whether Wes had a girlfriend back in Austin or not, the dude had an agenda from the moment he stepped out of the limo, and wasn't afraid to admit it. Practically whipping out his guitar to serenade the girl before they had a chance to shake hands, he performed his silly little ditty 3 or 4 times....I actually lost count and found his shameless self-promotion embarrassing, even more so than his shabby corduroy blazers.

Gossip aside, I've adored Jillian Harris' style since she peddled her hot dog theory on the last season of the Bachelor. From her chunky rose gold watch to her colorful mini dresses and red urban cowboy boots, her interior decorating background definitely translates to her quirky, trendsetting personal style. I don't know if Jillian is dressing herself in outfits she's brought from home or if she's getting a little help from a band of ABC stylists. If it's the latter, I'm 5'3 and pretty close to Jillian's size if you guys need to clean out the ABC closets.

If you want Jillian's rainbow colored tie-dye bikini pictured above, you can get it on sale from Victoria's Secret.

p.s. Wes, I think your song sounds like a jingle for a laxative commercial.

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The Fashion Show

I'm headed to the Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim festivities in Miami next month, so I've been cramming in extra hours of reading Women's Wear Daily and Vogue while Tivo'ing a weekend worth of fashion tv. I recently caught a mini Bravo marathon re-broadcasting a few tail episodes of the Project Runway knockoff, The Fashion Show.

Swap Heidi Klum for Isaac Mizrahi, Tim Gunn for Kelly Rowland, Nina Garcia for my idol (and creator of NY Fashion Week) Fern Mallis, and you've pretty much got the same clothing pattern. With only a few minor differences - the judges stand rather than sit while judging, the runway is triangular, the mini challenges are hosted by Harper's Bazaar, and there is an actual audience of fashion critics waiting to be wowed at every week's final cut fashion show.

The last episode I caught was an Icon episode, with designers paying homage to the 7 legends of fashion - Chanel, Halston, Versace, Pucci, Yves Saint Laurent, Christian Dior and Madame Gres. Some got it right as seen below - Johnny's Verasce victory in black leather, Anna's black and white salute to Coco Chanel and Daniella's choice Christian Dior collar.

Others got it miserably wrong - Reco's Renaissance ruin in red and Haven's YSL WTF, which ultimately sent her home.

My episode hightlight? Being reminded of the industry mantra penned by Yves Saint Laurent -

Fashion fades, style is eternal.

I hear you Yves. That is precisely why this blog is aptly titled Let's Talk Style, rather than Let's Talk Fashion.

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Fashion TV Roundup - Make Me a Supermodel

Make Me a Supermodel:

I totally missed season one of this ANTM copycat, but I'm finding the second season to be an even juicier and guiltier Spring pleasure than a plump watermelon soaked with vodka. The main difference between America's Next Top Model and these supermodel wannabes is that Bravo knows where the boys are, the boy models that is.

With an equal mixture of both sexes, these perfectly sculpted guys and gals who want it all are now down to the top three. Zero chicks made the final cut - Salome, the Mennonite model pictured above was tossed for having too much junk in her trunk followed by 4th place Brazilian Roxette lookalike Mountaha. Although she wasn't a traditional beauty, I was kind of pulling for Mountaha, just because a girl with a name like that deserves to win something.

The final three models face off tonight and go head-to-head with two major photo shoots and an extended catwalk challenge. Considering the trio of pretty boys left, my pounds are wagered on the always beaming Brit Jonathan who is doing whatever it takes to support his wife and baby boy back at home. Thunderthighs Sandhurst will probably come in a close second.

Good luck and thanks for all the Supermodel worthy good times guys, and more importantly, for giving me tons of material for my Model Poses.

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Fashion TV Roundup

It has recently come to my attention that I've been neglecting the Viewing Party section of this blog. In the words of the legendary Kurt Cobain, all apologies ladies (and mostly gay gents). I just can't seem to keep up with my Tivo these days and sincerely apologize for falling fashionably behind. So in order to make it up to you, I'm giving you a two-for-one with a Cliff's Notes rundown of television's most stylish moments from the past few months, crammed together at the last minute, like my 10th grade research paper on Jane Eyre.

America's Next Top Model:

Cycle 12 did not disappoint with another group of skinny girls (who all wanna be on top) fighting tooth, nail and extension for a shot at Tyra Banks' top title. Teyona, the gorgeous Jersey girl with the Crest-White-Strips smile from Woodstown wins, beating an awkward, alien-like Allison whose big weird deer-eyes in the headlights look carried her all the way to the finals. Teyona might've screwed up her easy, breezy, beautiful Cover Girl commercial and was trippin' when she wore a nightgown to judges panel, but she rocked the final fashion show in Brazil, tearing out her fake ponytail and whipping it around with the fierceness and dexterity of a jungle cat.

Season highlight - When a jealous, over the hill Celia sabotaged burn victim Tahlia in an effort to get her eliminated. Celia got torn a new one by Tyra because no one likes a tattletale, especially one who looks like a vampire from the cast of Buffy.

The Hills:

Season 5 brought about many a stylish strife despite the absence of Whitney Port, especially when Spencer's little sis Stephanie got fired from a dream intern job at People's Revolution with Lauren forced to give her the thigh-high boot. You can pretty much kiss your handbag designing dreams goodbye Steph (No one messes with Kelly Cutrone). Spidey is finally getting married after a few brief rounds of turmoil with a silly fame seeking bartender named Stacie, Lo gets a job at Smashbox, Audrina makes out with Brody Jenner and breaks up with Justin Bobby, and Spencer grows half a ball and apologizes to LC for spreading those nasty sex, lies and videotape rumors. This Sunday is the hour long season finale - Will Spidey finally become one? Will LC be there? Will Heidi's cowboy Dad be packing his Colt 45 when he moseys Heidi on down the aisle?

Season lowlight - Knowing the girl behind the Hills, Lauren Conrad, will be moving on to bigger and better things with a seaon 6 replacement already lined up - fellow Laguna Beach alum and blonde troublemaker Kristin Cavallari. I wish I was wearing my Tootie Ramsey rollerskates when I say-

There's gonna be trouble...make that a double...

Fashion TV Roundup Part Deux Electric Boogaloo to follow next week...

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Confessions of a Shopaholic gave me a total shopping high

Last Valentine's day weekend, my sweetie and I saw the long-awaited chick flick Confessions of a Shopaholic along with one million other adoring boyfriends who were too afraid or too whipped to tell their significant others they'd rather see Mall Cop or Underworld: The Rise of the Lycans.

My readers know that I've been desperately awaiting the release of this film adaptation since April of last year, and as I predicted, the big screen version of Sophie Kinsella's bestselling book did not disappoint.

Who could resist the trials and tribulations of Rebecca Bloomwood, the journalist with a heart of gold and an empty wallet who finds herself jobless, in mega-debt, and pursued by the villainous collection agent Derek Smeath. We've all been there, haven't we ladies? Finding ourselves shaken and stirred by overdraft fees, spending limits and increased APR's, but still we cheer Becky on, urging her to go ahead and buy that green scarf. She needs it after all.

Becky reminded me of another female writer I know...a girl who sits at her laptop all day, dreaming of Gucci boots, sample sales, Chloe handbags and endless shopping sprees at Barney's. That girl is me, but I must confess - I am far from a shopaholic. I have 172 wish lists, but the only weekly treats I allow myself are nonfat decaf caps from Starbucks. Deep down I wish I were more like Becky, a true free-spirit in the department stores who allows herself to not only covet, but to own all of the apparel and accessories she's ever dreamed of, thanks to her magic cards. I wish I had an ounce of her spirit, allowing myself to enjoy the finer things in life --in moderation of course.

Back to the movie....Let's talk shop. I'm a big fan of the entire Shopaholic book series, and wasn't sure how it would translate shifting the setting from London to New York, but I think the film holds up and any Shopaholic fan will be pleased with the big picture. If you're still not sold, here's a quick rundown of my Shopaholic highs and lows:

Highlights- Patricia Field's scrumptious costuming, Isla Fischer's comedic genius, Hugh Dancy's quiet vulnerability, and Becky & Luke's insane Miami salsa number.

Lowlights- Talking mannequins, Leslie Bibb's Cruella De Vil-like turn as Alicia Billington, mysterious missing scenes that we loved from the trailer.

Shop responsibly.

*s

ps- if you're desperate for more confessions, check out a Mother-slash-business woman's Confessions of a Shopaholic blog focusing on family, business, motherhood, and of course - shopping!

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Hot Fashionistas in The City - Whitney Port tackles NYC

If you haven't heard, Whitney Port - our favorite good girl stylist and budding fashion designer from The Hills - has left Lauren Conrad's side and the warmth of La La Land to take The City by storm. New York City that is.

It was only a matter of time before Whitney stepped out from supporting character status to embrace the spotlight all on her own with an MTV reality show catered just for her.

She's moved on to greener pastures (concrete pastures rather) and has a new job at DVF (Ahem, that's Diane Von Furstenberg to you fashion civilians), plus a new crew of city friends including Aussie rock star boyfriend Jay (who isn't comfy with the boyfriend/girlfriend title just yet), Erin, the lovable roommate/confidante/party girl with a killer set of bangs and Olivia, the Upper East Side socialite who wants to take Whitney under her blinged out wing, and teach her everything there is to know about The City. I'm not sure about Olivia. Does she have ulterior motives? Does she secretly have a thing for Whitney's scruffy boyfriend, (sorry Jay), scruffy man friend? And why does she wear those two teenie tiny mini cips in her hair, recreating my second grade signature hairstyle?

One of the things I always loved about Whitney during her stint on The Hills was that she always steered clear of the drama...which may prove difficult now that she's headlining this act. Two boys have already fought over her, and it's only the beginning of the season.

Will our dear, sweet wholesome Whitney be corrupted by the big, bad unforgiving city? Will she come crawling back to the West Coast, or flourish in the fashion capital of the world?

If any or all of the above peaks your interest, tune in for the next installment tonight. It ain't Masterpiece Theatre, but it's worth watching just to see what Whit wears on all her date nights...with her friend, not boyfriend.

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Stylista? Oh pleas-ah.

The finale is over and Leanne Marshall was named the winner of our favorite guilty pleasure- Project Runway. Before you put your pin cushions back in your sewing baskets and start feeling the pangs of Heidi Klum & Tim Gunn withdrawal, there's a new fashion-themed reality knockoff to sink your sewing needles into.

Stylista is a new reality based fashion-fest trailing a rather awkward group of 11 desperate, young and sometimes clueless fashionistas as they vie for the coveted position of assistant to Anne Slowey, fashion news director of Elle magazine.

Episode two aired last night, but based on the premiere alone this stylista isn't very interested. As is the formula with most reality show competitions, casting directors make it a priority to assemble a group of contestants who will clash more than paisley and plaid. You have your token Underdog, the Egomaniac, the Sexpot, the Panic Attacked and an entire crew of familiar stock characters. Some are sweet, some are stacked and most think they're Coco Chanel. They're not.

My advice to Ms. Slowey? Drop these fashion wannabes, and hire me instead. I keep my boobs concealed and my anxiety levels under control. I'm cute, obedient, and I've got moxy. Elle needs a girl with moxy...Just ask Nina Garcia.

To the remaining ten stylistas, sorry guys...it's just business. Intern with Ralph Lauren for a few years and then we'll talk.

Like Heidi says, auf Wiedersehen.

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9021size 0

If you haven't caught the first few episodes of the much anticipated 90210 spinoff, relax. The show is getting press alright, but not because it's groundbreaking television.

Entertainment, gossip, and fashion rags alike are all headlining stories highlighting the 90210 Skinny Girls in all their flesh and bones glory...stress on the bones rather than flesh.

Shown here on the cover of Nylon magazine, these Skinny Minnies are being compared to their 90210 foremothers- Jennie Garth, Shannen Doherty and Tori Spelling, who were considered skinny back in the 90's, but times have changed. The old 90210'ers had some twenty to thirty pounds on this new crop of California girls. Jennie Garth and Shannen Doherty have both reprised their roles as the legendary Kelly Taylor and Brenda Walsh respectively, and have given these young'uns a run for their money. They may not be teenagers any more, but they look Beverly Hill-icious with sexy curves, insulation and health on their side.

Sadly for the new class of West Beverly, scale readings and weight estimates are being flashed left and right. Personally, I'm tired of seeing these numbers thrown around for shock value. I could care less what the scale reads, you can tell by just taking a look at these girls and their gangly arms that there is a problem, a problem that has apparently escalated to the point where the 90210 Studs are planning to step in and stage an intervention. I'd love to see their strategy. Cheeseburgers in one hand, Gucci bags in the other.

My advice for these Beverly Hills babies? Stop guzzling Red Bulls and maxing out your credit cards on Rodeo Drive and head to the Valley. Not the Los Angeles Valley, head to Valley Naturals and pick up some Weight Gain powder.

Pronto.

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Project Runway is back.

Bravo's Emmy nominated series Project Runway is back for another season with another crop of 16 budding designers hungry to be "in", at least in Heidi Klum, Tim Gunn, Michael Kors, and Nina Garcia's eyes. I was more excited than a seamstress in a fabric store to revel in another fierce season of cutting, draping, and stitching to the finish...but after last night's episode, my evaluation is just...well, sew-sew.

The first challenge brought the designers full circle as they tackled the first challenge ever on Project Runway season one, the grocery store showdown. To add to the nostalgia, Tim Gunn was joined by season one contestant- an airbrushed Austin Scarlett who won the challenge way back when with a corn husk concoction that ultimately launched his career. It was nice to see an old familiar face, albeit one plastered in makeup. He looked like a cross between Clark Gable and a young Joan Rivers.

Innovation was the name of the game. Most went the tablecloth route, others went the unexpected material route, few went the edible route. My favorites? A meringue cookie and candy dress that I dreamed of wearing during my days of playing Candyland. To sum up the fusilli pasta/oven mitt Italian themed dress? Two words - que bella. The tiered paper towel lipstick design was adorably kissable, and the yellow flyswatter dress was bugged out ingenious. Lowest marks, I agree with the judges- pink scully cap boy Blayne's Girlicious design was more like Pukelicious, even a six year old girl at her tap recital couldn't pull it off. Ultimately, it came down to Trashy vs. Psycho. I knew Trash bag girl wasn't going anywhere because in reality television, whoever declares "I'm going home", never goes home. It was Psycho shower curtain/yellow rubber glove dude who heard Heidi's fateful "Auf wiedersehen" and left with his model...no doubt to go unclog a toilet somewhere. If you missed the show, check out all the designs and rate your own favorites here (and if you thought the shower curtain ensemble was the bomb, I dare you to wear it outside...when it's not raining).

It will take me too long so sum up first impressions of all 16 designers, so I'll just cherry pick the ones I think are main contenders. Kenley- I like his chick. A cross between Dita Von Teese and Betty Page with a definite signature style, a throwback to days of old while maintaining a totally modern vibe. I would wear her dress today, tomorrow, as long as my tush fit in it. Kelli- bold, blond, bad to the bone. She's reminiscent of tatted Kat of Miami Ink fame and nailed the innovation challenge with a vacuum cleaner bag design that she manipulated into a truly gorgeous print. I loved the skirt, but wasn't too crazy about the coffee filter seashell bra top, but that's just me. The judges loved her daring bravado and deemed her the one to beat. At least for now...

Stay tuned...we're just getting started.

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The Joy of Sex in the City.

I would be remiss if I wrote a fashion blog and didn't comment on the Sex and the City movie I of course saw last Friday night, along with 55.7 million other cosmo guzzling women. It overtook the domestic box office and succeeded in Manolo'ing Indiana Jones out of his precious #1 spot. He used to be scared of snakes...now it's stilettos.

Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha were all back in fine form prancing around the streets of New York (LA for Samantha) in Patricia Field's delicious couture costumes. You've read enough reviews and I don't believe in spoilers, so I'm just going to give some highlights and lowlights to match Carrie's ever changing haircolor.

Highlights- Vogue photo shoots, wedding gown and fashion show galore. Trumping runway shows during Fashion week at Bryant Park? A fashion showcase taking place in Carrie's closet.

Lowlights- Carrie's Bird Veil. Not enough Stanford.

All in all if you're a fan of the series, you're gonna likey, Big time. Even my date for the evening (who was male) said he liked it better than "Fool's Gold". I know, he's a keeper.

When the final credits wrapped up I couldn't help but wonder...are we in for a Sex and the City 2, Bradshaw Boogaloo? Or will Michael Patrick King throw together a prequel, casting younger girls to play the Sex and the City sexpots in their 20's? Or maybe Carrie and Mr. Big will have a set of precocious quadruplets, all with a different haircolor...Come to think of it, the possibilities are endless.

*sex and the sammy.

Posted by Samara at 09:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Loose lips, good clothes.

It's pretty sad when a group of high school trust fund babies have a better wardrobe than you do. Watching Gossip Girl's Upper East Side socialites traipse around Manhattan in Versace and Dolce and Gabbana is enough to make me call Bravo tv's Millionaire Matchmaker for some sugardaddy prospects.

Enough about the clothes, here's the rundown...

Gossip gets put on hold while the kids prep for the SAT's. Unfortunately for Serena, a blast from the past in the form of Georgina Sparks threatens to seriously impair her math/verbal scores. Played by Michelle Trachtenberg, (former vampire slaying Buffy sis) Georgie doesn't jive with Serena's new spitting clean image and resorts to spiking her gal pal's drink so she won't be the only underaged bad girl left on Park Avenue.

Serena misses the big test, but not-so-evil stepbrother Chuck saves the day by scoring a redheaded SAT proxy for her. S closes the door on G for good and all seems well until Georgie shows up in Central Park making a play for Serena's boy Dan. The plot thickens...By the way, is it just me or did Jenny Humphrey grow two feet since they've been on hiatus?

So many designer clothes...so many they'll grow out of by summer...

*Keepin' the gossip flowing,

xoxo,

sammygirl

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Over the Hills?

There aren't that many fashion-themed television shows on air, and with Project Runway on hiatus (probably because Heidi is having Seal's triplets) you're going to have to settle for a rundown of last night's episode of the Hills.

This wasn't a favorite episode of mine. The three major plot points were:

1. Heidi infiltrating LC's table at GAO Nightclub.
2. The Return of Justin Bobby.
3. The Hills girls deciding to get a house together.

1. We've seen it before...Heidi Montag's feeble attempt at hogging camera time. Wouldn't your time be better served filming another horrid beach video than sitting at a table where you're not wanted? At this point, Heidi is like herpes. She just won't go away.

2. Audrina went to dinner with her ex Justin Bobby, and he didn't burp once. Who said men don't change?

3. It's settled. Lauren, Audrina, and fellow Laguna Beach alum Lo are going to move into a house together. Read the contracts carefully girls, Heidi may already be living in the attic.

Spencer's camera time was limited thank goodness, but during the 4 minutes he was on screen I had an insatiable urge to poke him in the eyes Three Stooges style.

And these are the days of The Hills lives...

*Keepin' it real,

sammy

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And these are the days of model's lives...

Sometimes it's good to watch bad tv. You don't have to follow storylines, plot progression, or character development, and let's face it...Sometimes you just wanna watch someone get bitch slapped. America's Next Top Model is bad tv at it's best...or worst. Depending on the model's angle, and what Ms. J is wearing.

Here's a quick rundown of last night's episode. No one got bitch slapped, but someone did lose a thumb. Yowsa.

The central conflict revolved around African refugee/Iman doppleganger Fatima as she faced an international crisis. The models smelled a trip abroad in the air and Fatima hadn't updated her travel documents. Will she make it to the consulate in time? Will she miss a photo shoot in the process? Whatever is a model to do? All turned out well, but Tyra milked it more than she did in her got milk ad.

Now for the thumb. Arty redhead Lauren who has a bad walk and apparently tourettes syndrome, cut her thumb off while slicing an onion. Good thing there's not an IQ prerequisite to be cast on ANTM. You wouldn't last a day in Hell's Kitchen you donkey.

*Spoiler alert if you're saving it on tivo*

Adorable Stacy-Ann (reminiscent of Tootie from the Facts of Life ) had been flying under the radar, but got the boot for not being able to angle her big jaw properly. Sorry Stace. Personally, I think it should've been Dominique's time to go. For some reason she reminds me of the dude looks like a lady from the Crying Game.

Sorry. I guess bad tv just brings out the bitch in me.

*Keepin' my thumbs in tact,

sammy

Posted by Samara at 01:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Dancing with the Dolphin.

Let's get something straight. I don't watch Dancing with the Stars for the dancing. I don't watch it for the sequined costumes that look like a bedazzler threw up on them. I don't watch it to see the chicks from Hairspray and American Pie respectively shake their tatas. I don't watch it to mourn the loss of what was once Priscilla Presley's face.

I watch it for Jason Taylor.

The Miami Dolphins heartthrob is just as comfortable on the dance floor as he is on the 50 yard line and tonight, he rhumbaed just a little bit deeper into my heart. Looking very Ralph Lauren chic in a cream sweater and khaki slacks, he seduced me and every other hot-blooded woman in the country...and some men.

It was Samba and Rhumba night and in case you missed it, here's a full rundown: Mario, aka Poopie (don't ask) sold the hips but not the footwork, Priscilla missed a turn, and a Botox treatment, Marissa shook her tush and her big hair, Christián was competent, Marlee missed some beats, Kristi let her hair down and was one point shy of getting the gold, Shannon's hotness couldn't mask her awkwardness, and Jason was...ahhhh....everything a Jason should be.

Quin es mas macho? Christián De La Fuente O Jason Taylor?

Do I even need to answer? Be still mi corazon.

*Keepin' it real.

sammy

Posted by Samara at 10:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)