Sometimes models need to take a dump in the woods, just like us!

When it comes to lip gloss, I can be a little obsessive compulsive. Here are a few of my OC compulsions.

; * I constantly reapply, sometimes in my sleep.

; * I hum while I gloss, usually something George Michaelish.

; * My application MUST begin on the bottom lip, swiping left to right.

; * I'm a selfish glosser who doesn't like to share or sample communal lip gloss testers in department stores, (I don't know where your lips have been, lady) thus, I rarely find the perfect shade.

; * I'm always worried about leaving a sparkly pink or peach mess on my boyfriend's mouth, particularly after a heavy makeout session.

Thankfully I have found therapy, a new lip gloss method to end my madness, with OCC Lip Tar, by the vegan brand Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics. Fitting name, check.

Holy moley, as the name implies, this stuff stays put.

Above and beyond your average lip stain, these super intense highly-pigmented colors go on smooth and dry in a flash, without leaving an icky gooey residue on my or my man's mouth. Name

Every summer I have two simple missions - to reduce the circumference of my thighs, and to find the perfect coverup.

Usually proceeding my failed attempt at mission one, I swiftly move on to mission two, searching for the perfect beach caftan or coverup that will conveniently camouflage and conceal my aforementioned unrelenting abductor muscles.

Any beach girl knows what I'm looking for, an easy and effortless throw on dress, skirt or tunic that will take her from pool to patio, beach to boardwalk and sea to street, in style. A coverup that is more mod, less mumu. One that you can get wet and sandy without fretting over the five hundred clams you spent on it.

No, I want a coverup that is just as hot as the bikini I'm rocking underneath. Something that will still show a little leg without showing a lot of cellulite. And by george, I think I've got it.

I'm hot and bothered over this Beach Blanket Coverup from Roxy. It's oversized but still shows off a sexy bit of shoulder and stems, looks as lightweight and comfy as a favorite tee, and showcases a colorful tribal-like trim on the sleeves and hem.

I can wear it with flipflops or wedges, bikini bottoms or shorts, and no one will have to know that my first mission was impossible (should I be willing to accept it).

Baby got netted back.

Dear Sammy,

Thanks!
Keilie

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Keilie,

I only received your question 15 minutes ago but am already getting right down to it because a). I love that you call your grandmother Nana (my old college roommate used to call her grandma Nanners) and b). because luckily, I already have an answer prepared.

Since I am a self-proclaimed awesome gift-giver, at this point on the calendar I'm usually asked "What should I get my Mom for Mother's Day", as opposed to "What should I wear to a brunch honoring my Mom for Mother's Day". Nevertheless, my style sensibilities are at your service.

If you're looking for an inexpensive afternoon dress that will leave a good impression, hightail it over to the barn, dressbarn that is, for a virtual petting zoo of affordable frocks to choose from.

My top choice is this Asymmetrical Tulip Blouson Dress, a romantic month of May mini that features a lovely floral tulip pattern befitting for any Sunday brunch, and a flattering one-shoulder silhouette that will show off what your momma gave you at a length that should still be Mom and Nana approved. It's sexy enough to recycle for your next dinner date, sweet enough to sport while sipping mimosas with the fam, and a steal at only $44.99.

Can't decide between the 400+ dressbarn dress options available in misses, plus sizes and petites? What the hay. Save $10 when you buy two dresses, which should still leave you some cash left for flowers, a gift, and to pick up the check for Mom because hello, you weren't raised in a barn.

xoxo,

sammy

Having a fashion dilemma or crisis?

Need to know what top goes with what bottom?

Don't go it alone. Ask Sammy!

Sometimes it's the smaller victories in life that deserve to be celebrated...

*Opening a hermetically sealed jar of spaghetti sauce all by myself... As opposed to immediately giving up and walking next door so my super-humanly-strong neighbor, Tami, could do it.

*Finding a twenty in the side pocket of a bag you haven't seen since last spring.

*Hiring a ticket lawyer and getting a 1/2 reduced fine, no traffic school or points for a speeding ticket that you shouldn't have gotten in the first place.

*Accidentally leaving a pair of red panties in a load of whites and discovering that the laundry gods were on your side, nothing turned pink.

**Placing a successful order on an outfit you just fell in love with on Fashion Star.

I don't know if you've caught on to the NBC Fashion Star frenzy - a reality competition series that gives Project Runway a run for its money - but I have, and it has taken me 9 episodes to secure a coveted piece of clothing in my size before it sold out to the Saks, Macy's and H&M masses.

The premise is simple - 14 designers compete for the chance to become the next big fashion brand, launching their collections in 3 of America's largest retailers: Macy's, H&M and Saks Fifth Avenue. The big 3 buyers either purchase or pass on the designs showcased every week, with the purchased items available online to the general public. Fashion mentors Jessica Simpson, Nicole Richie and John Varvatos give the designers their 2 cents, offering valuable insider tips along the way.

I admit, most of my Fashion Star failures were my own fault. I caught the first few episodes On Demand and after-the-fact, so I could only admire the buyers' purchased looks from afar while my sizes sold out in minutes. One time I begged my boyfriend to wake me up so I could check out the latest looks. He didn't, and I slept my way out of scoring a to-die-for printed jersey maxi dress from H&M. {see above} Hmpf.

Last night, however, during the last show before the finale, I was armed with my iPad, shopping trigger finger cocked and ready to click. I picked up a pair of Orly Shani's corporate chic Mia Trousers a half hour into the show without a hitch. Victory was mine.

That is, unless they don't fit.

The horses ran wild at the 138th Annual Kentucky Derby this weekend, and I do declare that my vote for best Kentucky Derby Do goes to the Style Network's "How Do I Look?" host, Jeannie Mai.

How does Jeannie look? Like a derby dream come true, coming off chic as opposed to silly in a gorgeous wide brimmed hat paired with a simply sensational color complementing halter neck gown. Over the top, yet not. That's what the best derby hats are made of.

Kudos also go out to the Derby winning horse, I’ll Have Another. For the victory, and the name...

Mint julep? Why yes, I'll have another.

I'm like, not as hungry as I look.

Confession: I'm bored of all of my perfumes.

I've never been the kind of girl who settles on one signature scent. I like mixing it up, getting complimented whenever folks get a new whiff. It may be seasonal. During the winter months I want to smell like cloves and cranberries. Spring is all about the florals, and when summer comes around, I want to smell all beachy and citrusy, coconutty, piña colada and pineappley.

The First Day marking the commencement of the Summer Solstice is on Wednesday, June 20, which roughly leaves me a month and a half to secure the perfect summertime scent... Here are the contenders that I've been sniffing out:

I ain't no Hollaback girl, but I am a self proclaimed Harajuku Girl. How cute is this Harajuku Sunshine Cuties bottle from Scentiments? Gwen Stefani's stylish seasonal scents come in five different flavahs (Love, Music, Li'l Angel, G & Baby) that are all quite intoxicating, but my favorite has got to be the Love. It has notes of nectarine, pink pomelo, bamboo leaf, and lots of other sweet aromas I never heard of, and will ensure that I smell like a bright, bright sunshiney day. In short, this perfume is Bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s.

Rock out with your out with your bikini top out with the Limited Edition Escada Rockin' Rio perfume, from Perfumania. Piña colada and pineappley? Check. It's also musky, peachy, sugarcaney, tangeriney, and will have dudes even more obsessed than Duran Duran in the Rio video.

And for the quintessential summertime fragrance, Calvin Klein's CK One Summer is a limited edition scent that is a crisper, fruitier take on the original, and so smelltacular that it's re-released every year. It's like the Beach Boys in a bottle, also from Scentiments.

P.S. While you're you're there, shop around to find the perfect scentiment to send to your Dear ol' Ma this Mother's Day (Sunday, May 13th).

*Use code: MOMMY10 at the Scentiments checkout to score 10% off and free shipping... because after [insert # here] hours of grueling labor, the least you can do is help her smell pretty.

Uh, hello. Like, where's the cursor?

I was feeling nostalgic this past weekend, reminiscing about my 8th grade days of summer. I had my first job that summer break, as an ice cream scooper at Häagen-Dazs. I made a mean banana split back in the day, not to mention my shakes. My milkshakes brought all the boys to the yard. They were in a word - spectacular.

From May until August, I proudly lived in my Häagen-Dazs uniform tee, matching cap, name tag and apron. As for my better bottom half, I sported a cool, supersoft pair of denim shortalls, a shorts/overall hybrid also known as jumpers, coveralls, overall shorts, etc. Suddenly, I missed those shortalls, something awful.

I spent a good hour sifting through piles and piles of haven't-yet-gotten-around-to-donating Goodwill bags filled with clothes that are too old or too big (Thanks Reebok Challenge workout!). I couldn't find them, so I set out on a cyber shortall search.

Luckily, my search took less time than serving up a double scoop of butter pecan because my beloved shortalls are back in style and all over the web. I found them on my very first stop at Maurices where I scooped up this adorable Silver Jeans Anna Jumper that had elements of my old outfit, but with updated modern details like a bib front and open back.

While hanging out at Maurices, I discovered a whole lotta cute summer wear in the form of comfy rompers, sorbet colored shorts and sweet summer dresses that I simply had to have.

I shopped, shopped, and shopped some more. A dozen outfits later, I probably spent every penny that I earned that summer while scooping ice cream for the masses (inflation), but just like my 700 calorie milkshakes, it was worth it.

Models drink on the job, just like us!

Confession: I am leaving on a cruise to Cozumel in 36 hours and am still shopping for shoes to stuff into the already overflowing wheelie bag packed in my head. I don't know why I'm even bothering. I have plenty of suitable shoe options already prepared and don't have the pesos to shell out for even more vacation-related accoutrements (aside from cervezas, margaritas and shots of Jose Cuervo, of course).

Besides, even if I ordered a new pair, they wouldn't ship in time... unless some overachieving UPS guy decided to Speedyboat Gonzalez my parcel out to me in international waters. Regardless, it's nice to dream, and I've been dreaming and drooling over the current Tribal trend that has been spotted showcasing the pedicured toes of today's top trendsetters this spring.

If I won the Lottery, I'd splurge on these Missoni Leather and Crochet Knit Platform Sandals for $1055, and still have plenty of cash left over to buy a closet full of Cozumelian caftans and a dozen rounds of Mexican libations for the locals. But alas, I have not won the lottery, so I could probably afford these not-cheap/not-scary-expensive Elissaa Wedge Slingbacks from Steve Madden for $129.95...

OR, I could be totally budget-conscious and responsible by opting for these very reasonably priced Reeba Wedges by Mia for $39.99 or these Red Multi Guatemala Print Platform Wedges from LuLu's for a flat fee of $29.

Yes, I think it would be muy bueno if I chose the more responsible road less traveled, splurging on the just as chic yet oh so cheap shoes. My decision has been made, the tribe has spoken. I feel older. Wiser. Like I'm growing up and making smarter, more adult choices.

[Fast forward 368 nautical miles from now, at a bar in central Cozumel]

"Oye amigos! The next twelve rounds are on me!"

Happy Monday, landlubbers!

Forgive me, for I am giddier than all get out and desperately trying to find my bearings because at the end of the week, Sammy is going on Vacay! Yes, in a few days I shall embark on a four day Fun Ship cruise with my man where we will sail away, sail away, sail away, (unnear the Orinoco flow) to the exotic city of Cozumel. Why the nautical nerves?

I'm excited, yet scattered, trying not to let the fact that it's the centennial anniversary of the Titanic sinking phase me while quelling the urge to growl "Argh" in my pirate voice whenever anyone at work annoys me. Instead, I'm searching the cyber seas for some cute cruiseworthy clothes and accessories so I can get all Lido-decked out on our Love Boat based spring break.

When it comes to cruise wear, it's so easy and expected to go all red, white and navy, but I'm looking for pieces that are a little less Sailor Moon and a little more subdued to rock both at sea and on shore. Here are a few of my favorite unburied treasures:

I'm all about themes and decided on a consistent motif to anchor my ensembles. So far, I'm stowing away these Star Anchor Shorts from Forever 21, featuring a barely there anchor print that could pass for little bluebirds from far away. I'll mix it up and out with a few neon crop tops I picked up, a faux denim bikini and these knotty yet nice Wood Anchor Boat Earrings from Topshop to give my look some extra weight.

As for ship baggage, this Anchor Print Bowling Bag from Asos will do. Don'tcha just love the quirky orange and cream combo that is anything but obvious?

Add some cutoff shorts, jeans, sarongs, basic tees and sundresses, and I should be in good ship shape, ready to report for port-of-call duty.

I'll be ashore thing.

I'm getting a tax refund!