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Jock Itch.

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with 3 Comments

Once upon a time...in a Hollywood far, far away, the princesses of Tinseltown found their Prince Charmings in the forms of sleazy, tatted, not-so-pretty rockstars. Times have changed in La La Land, and now there's a new Prince Charming on the horizon, seducing fairy princess supermodels, it girls, and pop stars alike...The athlete.

Gisele Bündchen had another idea of Fantasy Football in mind when she traded Leonardo DiCaprio in for New England quarterback Tom Brady, even though he already had a bünd in the oven with actress Bridget Moynahan, (oooh scandalous). Eva Longoria shot and scored and is now desperate housewife to San Antonio Spurs point guard Tony Parker while Hilary Duff said goodbye to Good Charlotte frontman Joel Madden and hello to Mike Comrie. Apparently she's been spotted skating around town with the NY Islanders center and could care less her ex just had a baby with Nicole Ritchie...(Good form Hilary, someone get that girl a hat trick). Lest I forget our little tunafish challenged Jessica Simpson...It's a lot warmer than 98 degrees with Dallas CowboyTony Romo who thinks both Nick Lachey and John Mayer made huge fumbles in dumping a girl whose body is like, a total wonderland.


giselle and tom.jpgeva l and tony.jpg


This trend all makes perfect sense really, reverting back to high school days when the jocks got the cheerleaders, the homecoming queens, dance line captains...the Mean Girls personified. The cheerleaders never went for the dark, poetic, ratty looking musicians who spent all year prepping for the Battle of the Bands back then...they went for the testosterone fueled, muscled dudes who could crash a beer can on their head without flinching.

Personally, I think it's easier to date an athlete over a musician any day. Musicians are too sensitive. They break their guitars on stage and then cry about you hurting their feelings. Athletes are easier than a game of kindergarten kickball. As long as you feed them lots of Chunky soup and have tons of Icy Hot on hand, you're good to go.

It's all a matter of taste, but I have a feeling this star athlete hookup trend is going to last awhile. Don't be surprised if Jessica Biel dumps Justin Timberlake's ass because her ex Derek Jeter is bringing sexy back...

...and they all lived happily ever after.

*Keepin' score,

sammy

Comments (3)

fmcita:

jessica biel can have justin timberlake...it increases my chances with dj. you know us 'cancers' should stick together. what's your take on the athlete-athlete connection? since my career as a supermodel didn't quite happen, what are my odds as an athlete?? ;)

s:

confuscious say, chances good.
also...winning lotto numbers-
13, 49, 44, 39, 56, 4

*s

fmcita:

i guess with those odds, i'd be a fool not to go for dj AND the chance for millions. a girl can surely be hopeful...;)

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Samara Sanchez

About Sammy

Sammy Sanchez is a Miami based freelance writer, greeting card designer, and self-professed USWeeklyholic. Sammy loves tall coffee light frappuccinos, vino not from a box, and Mark Ruffalo...not necessarily in that order.
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