The French feminine mystique has always eluded me.
Besides remaining perfectly svelte after dining on multiple carb heavy meals and entrées du jour prepared with tubs and tubs of butter (buerre en Francais) and heavy cream (crème), these mademoiselles can also get away with severe bedhead, look amazing when they're telling someone to screw themselves (Je t'emmerde!) and keep their lipstick perfectly in tact while devouring their soufflés, crepes and Coq au Vins.
During my recent travels to the city of love, I discovered a few other talents that French women have up their pretty Parisian sleeves. Here is my list of the top ten things that French women can do that I, sadly, cannot.
10. Make a fresh bakery baguette look like a fashion accessory.
9. Apply the perfect liquid eyeliner wing-tip that lasts all day.
8. Create the perfect chignon with 3 bobbypins.
7. Carry a glass of vin blanc, a cigarette, a compact, lipstick and their child with two hands.
6. Ride a bicycle/vespa/motorcycle in 5 inch stilettos without becoming French roadkill.
5. Make a dozen men fall in love with them during a 5 minute walk to the Métro.
4. Rock a trenchcoat and Converse with the confidence of wearing an evening gown and Christian Louboutins.
3. Eat a croissant or pain au chocolat without getting one single crumb on their Chanel jackets.
2. Make unmanicured nails look manicured.
1. Speak French without sounding like Pepé Le Pew.